I was angry, not bitter

The neglect, my emotional and physical difficulties and the not knowing I had Cerebral Palsy made me angry as a child and years on I’m still having to work through my symptoms.

I wouldn’t have been normal if I didn’t get angry. Sadly for me, my anger made me a scapegoat for other people’s problem. It was easy to blame me because I was angry. It also made it more plausible …

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22 Sep, 2017

My lifestyle blog

The CP Diary

While each blog I write represents a new way of thinking, which moves me on to a new thought process, I can see how my blogs could leave us feeling overwhelmed, as there are 7 years of blogs to read through. There are a lot of blogs.

Although a Cerebral Palsy diagnosis late on, was my reason for starting my blog and I still periodically blog about what I deal with around Cerebral Palsy, The CP Diary is a lifestyle, health and wellbeing …

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18 Sep, 2017

A life reshaped by diagnosis

Over the years I have documented about my physical and emotional difficulties since I started the Diary, but one of the things I go back to every time is living a life that wasn’t true. You can’t be true to yourself without knowing the truth about yourself.

For 46 years I lived one way through the control, then when the opportunity arose for me to have an MRI scan, having my Cerebral Palsy diagnosis confirmed made me realise I wasn’t the person I …

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16 Sep, 2017

Blanking things out

Blanking something out doesn’t mean the thing we have blanked out didn’t happen. Sadly, we spend a lifetime blanking experiences and conversations out, so we don’t have to remember, as we continue to live in denial over those things.

I have always seen things as they are and how I know them to be. I remember circumstances when they happen, in the same way I remember conversations and that’s because my senses are even more heightened …

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12 Sep, 2017

Not knowing & guilt

I enjoy watching programmes that make a difference to people who need help having their homes adapted to fit their conditions and for whatever reason can’t do this for themselves. The programme also helps those who come into a diagnosis late, who struggle to be able to help themselves and help with adapting their homes to accommodate their symptoms.

Why I’m bringing this up is that no matter how late the diagnosis, there is still an element of guilt on our part that we have to live with, particularly as those we share our lives with must also …

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8 Sep, 2017

More on my SPD

My Sensory Processing issues are never far away. We know that sensory process is the way in which the central nervous system of the body receives messages from the senses of the body and uses that information to act in an appropriate motor or behavioural responses.

As a child, I was aware I struggled with some things, but it’s only quite recently that I understand more about the condition.  I have written about my sensory processing disorder previously and …

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4 Sep, 2017

Open about my life

I’ve always been open about what I deal with, even before The CP Diary was introduced. It was my way of trying to understand, deal with and look for answers on my many issues that weren’t being addressed.

As they say a problem halved is a problem shared and although I still deal with issues, it feels easier when others can do relate. If I struggle I write a blog and if I find a way through, it’s in …

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31 Aug, 2017

My struggles with SPD

Out of everything I deal with, my senses still bother me the most. Unless I find a resolve quickly on a particular issue, I usually have to physically remove the issue, so that it doesn’t leave me panicked, anxious and living in fear.

The same thing can happen around change. Although I am good with change, certain changes, which seem relatively little to someone else, can bring about problems through Sensory Processing issues.

Sadly, since Sensory Processing Disorder is something I will have to live and deal with for the rest of my life, it’s …

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27 Aug, 2017