About insecurities

I used to spend my time as a child thinking about whether other people would like me, but although these were my thoughts, I know now there are plenty of people who generally don’t pay attention to us.

They’re probably too concerned about what people think of them, but it doesn’t stop us worrying nevertheless. For those who do notice and judge us, they’re probably not the people we would want to be friends with anyway.

I believe the problem stems from how we feel about ourselves, how we see people and the world, not necessarily from others judging us. They’ve probably not said anything to us or behaved inappropriately, but seeing them can just make us feel bad about ourselves.

Having Cerebral Palsy in some ways made me think that perhaps I wasn’t good enough, but it was never a conscious thought. Subconsciously I must have been honing in on self-negativity, whilst perceiving people in the same way. I had no confidence, no support and had low self-esteem.

I believe that when we accept ourselves, we begin to perceive other people more positively. When we’re more accepting of ourselves, any negative thoughts about how others perceive us, don’t exist.

Being accepting of ourselves, is more important than others being accepting of us. We should all be accepting of each other.


17 Nov, 2011

16 thoughts on “About insecurities

  1. I used to worry about what other people thought of me. Now I am my own person.

    If they want to judge me and criticize me then let them. I just ignore it and do my own thing. If people have so little to do in their lives than to have to pick on me, then that is a great reflection on them. They should look in the mirror.

    They are people that are not worth knowing. You don’t need people like that in your life.

  2. I love this post! Fundamentally, we all have this desire of acceptance because we are social creatures.

    However, it’s in the accepting of ourselves and our unique differences (including the ones out of our control, like CP) are inherently what makes a person special. How wonderful it is to love ones self as is.

    You are a wonderful person and friend Ilana! I’m glad you can see that having CP is a part of what makes you who you are and well, that’s pretty awesome!

    1. Welcome to the site. I think you’re right Erin, but I feel society is somewhat responsible for making us feel we have to fit in otherwise we’re total outcasts… and this starts in school.

      I tend to work on the theory that I don’t need to fit in to be accepted. I am okay as I am, others need to accept me for being me. That should be enough.

      1. Hey Sweety! I absolutely agree with you! That is exactly as it should be in life.

        It drives me crazy when I see people trying to be like everyone else. We are all so different and that is what makes us all special, or we’d just be all the same and unrecognizable.

        Being who you are is enough and if others can’t see that then its their loss. A big loss if you ask me. 🙂

  3. I agree with you on that Ilana. I grew up very much like you did. I had no confidence, no support and had low self-esteem.

    In many ways I still have little to no confidence, practically no support and low self-esteem.

    I do what I have to do for my kids and try not to think about myself.

    1. I hear ya!

      I completely understand and I know how great a guy you are. You owe it to yourself to be kinder, so that you will and can fulfill your own needs. That will and should help build your confidence and low self-esteem.

      I think as parents we all try and do as much as we can for our kids, but you matter too. Thanks for posting Bill. 🙂

  4. I’ve been dealing with a lot of insecurities myself lately and they can seem almost insurmountable at times.

    It helps a lot to have support from other people who know exactly where it is that I’m coming from, as far as having to deal with these.

    I’m only hoping that the more I work on these issues,the easier it will become to deal with them!

    1. That’s absolutely correct Randy, the more you work on your issues, the easier it will be for you to work through your issues.

      It’s a must for any of us dealing with insecurities. You’re not alone.

  5. I too felt very insecure as a child and knew when people were talking about me.

    I didn’t have but maybe two friends that I could count on. I still have certain insecurities, but mostly about my health.

    I try to be positive about most things and am comfortable with who I have become.

    1. Ditto, but it’s good Lisa that you have turned some of your insecurities around. I believe that as long as we can do that, we will continue to emotionally and spiritually grow.

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