How many people use blame to excuse the way they behave, particularly when they blame or say something to other people that other people may consider hurtful?
Blame is like anger. It allows a person to behave or act in a way that is less than justified, but where those of us who go on to give consideration before speaking that tends not to happen with people who blame.
What happens when we blame?
We develop a thought pattern that sends our emotions into override, we lose self-control and the result is that we go on to say comments that hurt.
There are many reasons why we do it. Sometimes we’ll see our parents do it, so it’s a habit picked up. It’s something we start, but something we also find difficult to stop. Whilst it’s not something we consciously think about, subconsciously we use blame as a means of control, as we continue to ignore responsibility for our own behaviour.
We tend to use blame as a means of defence, when we can’t or don’t admit our own failings or mistakes. Instead, we look to blame others and continue to blame, as we justify our reasons for doing so.
We may also use blame as a means of failing to accept certain situations that may have happened in the past. When we begin to accept those situations, we begin to accept that those are our responsibility.
Obviously, it goes without saying that if someone else is to blame for something they said, it’s right for us to say something back. We should all learn the importance of taking responsibility without apportioning blame or lashing out at others, just because we may struggle.
It’s not fair and I believe it’s unjust in any event.