How many of us are taught to turn the other cheek when someone’s mean? Like it was okay for them to be mean and for us to turn the other cheek… I remember being taught the exact thing as a child.
I believe it all comes down to the way people react to other people’s behaviour in certain circumstances. For example if someone is unkind to you but you respond with kindness, the effect of that person’s bad behaviour is your affection. By being nice to people who are unkind you’re essentially encouraging bad behaviour.
I also believe we must always explain how we feel, so we stop holding on to what is their negativity. We cannot change the way other people speak or behave towards us, but we can change the way we perceive what they say and how they say it, even if we can’t prevent it. Unfortunately that’s life but rewarding bad behaviour is an admission that we’re actually okay with how the other person behaves.
In the longer term this not only adds to unnecessary stress, but it’s also an excuse for us to avoid dealing with the possible conflict. In my own experience where we’re trying to avoid conflict by not saying what we really feel and should, we’re actually creating more conflict by bottling things up.
Finally… no one should be rewarded with kindness for mean or bad behaviour.