Attaching importance

Why do often we attach importance to the things that hurt us the most? I used to do this constantly as a child, until I was in my mid thirties, primarily because I had no idea how to let go.

I’m not sure how many of us understand this is exactly what we do. I knew I struggled with things, I knew I held on to those things, but what I didn’t know was that I was constantly attaching too much importance to those things. In some respects, those things became bigger than I was.

What I know is that if we continue to attach importance to any issue we deal with that issue will always be a struggle. Attaching an importance to something, is like an invisible thread that controls our every thought.

When we begin to understand, deal with and come to terms with something, that something no longer stays important and that’s when we will eventually let it go.

But letting go ultimately gives us more peace.


9 May, 2014

6 thoughts on “Attaching importance

  1. I agree with you. We need to learn to let go of things that aren’t important. Issues that hurt us, because in the end they don’t really matter that much. I’m just as guilty as the next guy.

    I hang on to things that really don’t matter, that are in the past. If we forget about it and just move on we’ll be happier.

    1. Thanks Lisa. Forgetting or turning our back on our issues is probably easier said than done. When we understand the issues surrounding our circumstances, then we will find it easier to let go.

      I agree with you that when we move on we will be happier.

  2. I can see where attaching too much importance to an issue can tinker with obsession, but I don’t think it’s necessary to let an issue go altogether. Sometimes it’s just better to step away and let nature take its course; that’s how most of our concerns are handled anyway.

    I’ve learned to give my issues a little breathing room and a little time to work itself out. I don’t want to add fuel to the fire.

    1. I think you’re right Tim, issues do eventually work their way through. For some though, I suppose it depends on the issue they’re dealing with and whether they can step away and just let the issue go. I remember holding on to an issue as a child that turned into an obsession, until I learned how to control my thoughts better.

      I think our circumstances and our upbringing are very much a part of how we think and feel about our lives and the importance we attach to our lives and to our issues. In my own case, it wasn’t my intention to hold on. I didn’t know how to let go.

  3. I have to say I am not the best at letting go and agree with Tim, it is sometime inappropriate to do so in any case.

    My head is full of issues from the crap I have endured from people and I have no intention of letting go of it. I’m trying to find a place for it but it will always be there, it’s part of me now.

    1. Of course we’re all different, we hold on to different things, things that mean something to us, things that mean nothing, things that hurt us and things we feel appropriate to let go of, but what we all should be aiming for is peace and whilst we hold on to things that have the potential to hurt us we will never have peace.

      If you’re holding on to something that has the potential to feed into your psyche that will emotionally and physically harm you, then I would always suggest letting go. We should be attaching importance to the things that matter, the things that are said that embrace who we are, not the things that hurt us.

      The tragedy of the human mind is that we let go of the good things and always remember the bad things. Over the years I’ve had so much to deal with that would have had the potential to hurt me, if I let it. It’s important to let go of ALL the bad stuff so that we attach no importance to them.

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