As the cycle continues and as the adult, how many of us will continue to blame our parents for the way we turn out?
I can see why most parents get blamed, but how long can we genuinely continue to blame them for our misgivings, without taking back some form of control for ourselves? Many of us will have been hurt, both emotionally and psychologically and sadly in some cases, physically too.
It’s totally unacceptable. But to live your life through your parents eyes and not your own, to emulate certain aspects of your upbringing is to deny yourself the chance to leave your past behind and be at peace. The more we blame our parents, the more we will continue to be in denial. Sadly, living in denial, not choosing to take back responsibility back, will only serve to hurt us more.
Even though we may have reason to blame our parents, it must be more beneficial for us to move on. As an adult, our life stops being about our parents and more about us, therefore we shouldn’t make our life about them.
The problem with not letting go, is that over time we begin to lose our sense of reason, sense of hope, sense of optimism and that destroys any future potential we have. When we look and let go of the anger and resentment, when we begin to build our own life, we will begin to understand our life.
I don’t believe that any parent if they could have done it better wouldn’t have. None of us go to school to learn how to be a parent and whilst that is true we must always do and give of our best.
We must use our experiences, me included, as a stepping-stone so that we change our life. When our children become adults, would we want them blaming us?