It’s amazing how the cycle continues. As the adult, how many of us will continually blame our parents for the way we turn out?
I can see why most parents will get blamed, because for many of us, it’s our parents who have control over us, but how long can we genuinely continue to blame them for our misgivings, without taking back some form of control for ourselves?
Many of us will have been hurt, both emotionally and psychologically and in some cases, physically too. It’s totally unacceptable, but I still believe that which is part of our past should stay firmly in the past, because it will only serve to hurt us more. I don’t believe any of us come out of childhood completely unscathed and if you have, you’re one of the lucky few.
To live your life through your parents’ eyes and not your own, to emulate certain aspects of your upbringing is to deny yourself the chance to change, leave your past behind and be at peace. The more we blame our parents; the more we will continue to live in denial and the more emotionally immature we will be. Living in denial, not choosing to take back responsibility back, will only serve to hurt us more.
Even though we all have reason to blame our parents, it has to be more beneficial for us to move on. As an adult, our life stops being about our parents and more about, therefore we shouldn’t make our life about them. The buck must stop with us. The problem with not letting go, is that over time we begin to lose our sense of reason, sense of hope, sense of optimism and that destroys any future potential we have.
When we look and let go of the anger and resentment; when we begin to build our own life, we will begin to understand their flaws. I don’t believe that any parent if they could have done it better wouldn’t have. None of us go to school to learn how to be a parent and whilst that is true we must always do and give of our best.
Finally, use your experiences as a stepping-stone so that you change your life. When your children become adults, would you want them blaming you?