Coping with my depression

I have already written about depression, but wanted to elaborate more on the subject from a personal perspective, because I believe I had depression as a child.

Seeing someone deal with depression takes me back to my own childhood and believe that what I’m seeing is something that I experienced all those years ago. I wasn’t motivated or interested in anyone or anything and became withdrawn most or all the time.

I don’t remember a time when I was happy. I was angry most of the time, but deep down I always had a heart of gold. Looking back, some of my symptoms were indicative of depression. Having Cerebral Palsy with no emotional support is the reason.

I didn’t sleep well, had bad thoughts and never seemed to have fun. It also seemed to take me forever to get to sleep. When I finally found sleep my bad thoughts would disappear, but like a faithful friend those thoughts were always there the next day. There was no release. I was exhausted.

My mum would sit with me occasionally, whilst she went through my bedtime routine. She didn’t look to understand so never fully understood what was going on for me. My mum would ask me to count sheep, or think about something nice so that my bad thoughts could be replaced with good ones, but I lacked imagination and the exercise became fruitless.

Of course, there is a difference between being down in the dumps and feeling isolated and withdrawn, but looking back I firmly believe I was dealing with depression.

Always seek help if you think you’re dealing with depression.


6 Jan, 2012

6 thoughts on “Coping with my depression

  1. From time to time I have suffered from depression. At one point to the point of suicide. Luckily I was able to get myself out of that very dark place. Suicide is a cowards way out.

    I thought of what it would do to the people I left behind and luckily decided I could not do that to them. I never want to revisit that place ever again.

    You are right to say seek help. I did not and it took me a long time to get back to where I should be.

    1. I am pleased you managed to bring yourself out of your depression Randy. It can be a very lonely and isolating experience.

      There is so much help out there now for anyone suffering with depression and as you have said in your response it’s the right thing to do to seek help.

      I hope many people reading this will be encouraged to do that.

  2. I’ve been dealing with depression for a very long time and I’m glad that I have gotten help for it.

    I was a very depressed child,s o I too remember never really feeling happy at all. I’m just trying to get beyond it now, so that I can move on with my life.

    I’m hoping one day to at least be comfortable in my own skin!

    1. I believe that with the help you’re getting you will begin to feel comfortable in your own skin. I’ve seen you make strides already, you just need to recognise that you are.

      As you and I know someone with depression manages very little including contributing to forums. You’re coping with your life and that matters. In time I believe you will move on further.

  3. I think my depression also goes back to my childhood. I had no one to talk to and things just weren’t discussed like they are today.

    If you were depressed it was kept quiet. Of course back then you hardly ever heard of children being depressed but that’s probably what was wrong with most of the kids I knew.

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