Dealing with CP issues

There always seems to be something that takes precedent over other things that I want to write on the site, but this issue is on my mind today.

This is by far the hardest journal I have had to write. In my story ‘About Me’ I briefly touched on the problems with my handwriting, equating some of those problems to my father standing behind me as I walked as a child, but last year my Neurologist confirmed that scar tissue contributes to problems with my handwriting.

We all have insecurities, but for me this isn’t one I seem to be able to remedy quickly or easily enough. My physical appearance doesn’t say Cerebral Palsy, although I know that’s what I have, so others I am in contact with have no idea of my struggles, yet simply filling in a form is hard.

It’s not like a broken leg where everyone can see the broken leg. I have lived with this issue for so long that it will take longer to sort out. To keep it a secret doesn’t help. But hopefully it will show other people that we all have something we struggle with and although this problem is unique to me, others have things that they struggle with that is unique to them. We can’t assume.

This is something I know I need to deal with. I am not sure how much of my problem has been equated to my father and how much is down to scarring. All I know is that I have difficulty with it.


2 Nov, 2010

6 thoughts on “Dealing with CP issues

  1. It’s hard to get through issues we all have, that aren’t apparent yet plague us with self doubt and anxiety.

    The source of the problem might be a good place to start, but invariably we all know in the end these issues will have to be accepted along with the root cause of the problem.

    We all need to go through our own process to get to the end result but the end result is the same. If it’s a problem we will always have, then we need to cope the best we can. Talking about it is key and I’m glad you have shared this.

    1. Brian, the source of my problem is two-fold. My cerebral palsy, as confirmed by my Neurologist and my father walking behind me constantly.

      I do accept that I have this particular problem, but I need to work through it, so I am more comfortable with it. Writing is something we learn very early on, at my age it’s hard to work through it again, but I will do, somehow. When I consciously think about it, my handwriting seems worse, better when I’m put in the position when I need to write, but it’s still not great.

      I’m happy to share any of my issues. We all have them, just different ones. It helps to know there are people who care.

  2. My CP affects mainly my gait and lower extremities. If you can be blessed with this condition, I consider the degree of involvement to be just that. My CP could have been much, much more involved, and I am grateful for the fact that this is not the case.

    My condition is obvious when ambulating, but when sitting, no one would guess that anything was the matter. However, should I meet someone for the first time while ambulating on my fore-arm crutches, people immediately equate my condition with a degree of mental impairment as well.

    This has, indeed, been a great source of frustration for me. I’ve over-compensated for this by developing a pretty impressive vocabulary, so I immediately go about using $10 words to try to impress upon this individual that I have as good or even better intellectual properties than them.

    I know this sounds silly, but that’s been my defence mechanism for many years. At any rate, I’ve toned it down and fortunately times have changed with how the general public deal in general with disabilities. However, life does go on.

    Struggles with this condition continue, but after 46 years of dealing with it, I have to say that I’ve dealt with it better than some of my other personal issues.

    Ilana, I promise to post more often. Take care, and you do have my support!

    1. I totally understand your frustrations Thomas. I think that whatever we deal with, there will always be those frustrations.We just have to do the best that we can, given with what we deal with.

      I am so pleased to have you on site. You’re here now that’s the main thing. Thanks for posting.

  3. I think you do great. I don’t have CP and I really don’t have any outward problems except Carpel Tunnel Syndrome and Reynolds Syndrome. I think we all have to deal with our problems the best way we can… and having friends that listen and help and support us helps tremendously. I think you writing about your struggles is a great help to others and to you. I’m here for you.

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