Dealing with hopelessness

I understand too well, can resonate and find it sad when a parent lives with guilt when something happens to their child. With the passing yesterday of Michael Payne, father of Sarah Payne who was killed some years ago, how within seconds not only does a life change, but a family’s life changes too.

With any trauma, when we close the door, the world carries on as if nothing has happened and as we carry guilt, we begin to cope less and less. When we turn our attentions to things that help us cope, we lose our ability to cope even further. Hearing of Michael Payne today, brings back some of my own experiences of trauma. My thoughts go out to his family tonight.

This blog is dedicated to any child who has recently lost a parent or loved one through tragic circumstances.


31 Oct, 2014

6 thoughts on “Dealing with hopelessness

  1. With the loss of both my parents at young ages (early 60’s), I know the feeling. My father was my guide in life.

    He was there to pick up the pieces when things went wrong and he was my cheerleader when things went right, so I felt great loss when he passed. Then I became closer to mom and when she passed I felt lost.

    Everything felt hopeless.I didn’t know who I would turn to. My husband isn’t really good at comforting because he just doesn’t know how to. I’ve learned to cope though and am doing well now.

    I’m closer to my mom’s sisters, one in particular helps me a lot. I have a new granddaughter on the way and things are looking up.

    1. Thanks Lisa. Yes it’s hard when anyone loses a parent. I’m pleased things are looking up for you with a new granddaughter on the way.

      A new baby helps us to change the way we see and view the world and our circumstances. I am so pleased you have that to look forward to. How lovely.

  2. It sounds like what happened to a father in this area whose daughter was killed and left in the road afterwards.

    He struggled with carrying on afterwards, but I think it eventually caught up with him and he passed away from a heart attack at my age. I think it was more a case of dying from a broken heart since he loved his daughter’s so much!

    I think it hit closer to home for me, because it may have actually been a relative which I have to do the research to find out. It is truly a sad thing and I can only hope these men are at peace now after suffering through such a horrific thing!

    1. Thanks Randy. Yes it’s always sad when someone dies in such tragic circumstances. I agree.

      I believe both Michael Payne and the gentleman you describe will both be at peace now. I hope you manage to find out whether this gentleman was a relative of yours.

  3. This and others are really sad stories to hear. That feeling of hopelessness must be one of such desperation that I can’t begin to comprehend. It’s very sad.

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