How many times have we uttered the words, ‘I’m so disappointed with myself’ and mean every word, because it’s truly how we feel?
It’s something we come to judge in relation to our expectations, when the expectations we put upon ourselves are reasonable, but the circumstances turn out to be less than. If we fail to meet anything and we’ve already placed those expectations on ourselves, we become embroiled in our own personal battle.
It also comes about when we think we’ve disappointed someone who has expectations of us, because we feel we’ve let them down. Unfortunately, for some of us, the pressure is already on for us to perform no matter what. If the pressure isn’t coming from someone else, we put the pressure on ourselves. We set our own standards.
Standards are fine but they must be proportionate. To set the bar too high, means we’re automatically setting ourselves up to fail and that’s when blame sets in. We expect much more of ourselves than we do of others, but if we admitted to ourselves that the goal we placed upon ourselves was unreasonable, we would begin to understand and have an idea of what our limitations are.
For example, if we make one bad meal that doesn’t make us a bad cook, but if we’re trying to achieve a medal that takes us completely out of our comfort zone, then of course we will be disappointed if we don’t achieve it. It does depend on how high we set the bar.
As my father used to say, it’s horses for courses. Of course, that shouldn’t stop us from trying, but we must know our limitations. When we know what our limitations are, we’re less likely to be disappointed with ourselves, if we fail.
We have to accept that what we can do, is what we can do and be okay with it. So the next time you’re disappointed with yourself, perhaps you can tell yourself you didn’t fail, but that what you tried to do failed.