Establishing boundaries

Boundaries are taught to children by their parents from a very early age and are usually in place to protect them and the other children they may be in contact with.

Generally, there are those children who have a lovely nature and probably wouldn’t be affected by having no boundaries, but the more wilful and determined child would probably stop at nothing without any kind of boundaries in place. That kind of child would be a nightmare to manage, let alone live with.

Boundaries aren’t just for children, but serve adults too and are crucial if we are to build and implement healthy relationships. Adults without boundaries may be objectionable and lack communication skills, because they’ve never learned their boundaries on how or what makes good communication. They may also act independently when making decisions without any regard for their partners.

Boundaries are there to help us adjust and live within the constraints of what we already know. They also help us communicate safely and effectively with family, friends and our partners without us overstepping the mark on what we do and what we can and can’t say. What one partner thinks is appropriate, another partner may find totally inappropriate. This is the reason why boundaries are so important and why they must be maintained. Any differences must be respected.

Finally, I use my own boundaries to separate my own thoughts and feelings from those of others, so that I am responsible for myself on what I think and feel, whilst others are encouraged to do the same.


26 Jun, 2012

4 thoughts on “Establishing boundaries

  1. Boundaries would have been a good idea when I was growing up – I never really had them and ignored those that I did have.

    Some might say that’s why I can be a royal pain in the ass sometimes as an adult.

    1. I agree with you on all your points.

      It’s not really fair for anyone having to be on the receiving end of someone who has never had boundaries, for the reason you’ve mentioned in your last paragraph and my blog.

    1. Thanks Lisa. I’ve only known kids play out that way, when they don’t get their own way on what they can and cannot do.

      Unfortunately I have seen first hand what happens when boundaries aren’t in place. I think it’s easy for the family unit to become dysfunctional without them.

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