Family should be the people we want to spend time with by choice. They should be the ones we want to go back to long after we’re grown. Family should be a support, but not interfering. Family should be helpful, caring and interested.
Even through all of my experiences, I still believe that underneath the exterior, family are well intentioned. They may often mistake well-meaning for interfering. Many of us will spend a lifetime trying to adapt and others trying to move the boundaries back in place.
There will be times too when we feel we’re back on track, only to find we’ve slipped back off again with something we’ve said then it’s back to square one again.
These would be my suggestions:
- Put space between you and your family so you’re in control of how much time you spend with them;
- Don’t feel pressured to do what they want;
- Make your own decisions;
- Always say what you feel but say it with tact and discretion and don’t hold back;
- Be prepared to move the boundaries back;
- Never leave family assuming and always go out of your way to make sure they know where you stand on things, because miscommunication can be detrimental.
If things don’t work out, it’s up to us to make a choice as to whether we put more space between us and the family or whether we choose to walk away.
Of course, if we had such a perfect family we wouldn’t feel the need to walk away.