Friendships

Six small lesions and four injections later, my mind has opened up to different thoughts over the last few days.

I believe that having things to deal with, somehow show us a different side of ourselves that we need to see that we don’t always tap into. How quickly health can change? Dealing with health issues makes us more vulnerable to other thoughts, feelings and situations too.

My thoughts go back to when my mum was ill. Mortality wasn’t something I thought about consciously, but it’s true that illness makes us more vulnerable and can make friends and family around us more vulnerable too. Illness tends to show friends and family in a different light.

People’s reactions to what we deal with don’t always match how we expect them to behave. Maybe what we see in front of us is something that was there, we just didn’t know or see it, or perhaps it was there, we just chose to ignore it.

One thing that has never changed, is for me to be who I am. Unfortunately, I think that with what we all deal with, it’s often difficult for us to accept people for who they are. We have pre-conceived ideas about how we want those people to be and when they’re not, we tend to judge. Another human failing I guess.

The world is different; we’re all different. We need to come together and just let each other be what who we are. I believe we also need to be more accepting of our differences.


15 Mar, 2011

10 thoughts on “Friendships

  1. I agree. Even friends tend to judge us and shun us when we’re ill.

    A good friend is one that will accept us for who we are and not our disabilities. A true friend is like a rose without thorns. I heard this once and think it’s true to a certain extent. There has to be thorns occasionally.

    Friends should be able to be honest with each other and accept their differences also. A true friendship is one where you can tell each other the truth and still stay friends.

    1. That’s the point Lisa, true friends wouldn’t judge or shun us when we’re ill, although we do tend to find out who are friends are at that time.

      True friends base their relationship on trust, honesty and mutual respect, but will never judge.

  2. I always used to worry about people judging me until a few years ago. Then I realised you cannot make all people like you, so I take the view now that people can think what they want about me. I know who I am and as long as I am a good person who doesn’t do anything mean to people that’s all that matters.

    You do not know what you are capable of until you are tested by having a family member with a terminal illness. A very good friend of mine said something very wise to me during my mother’s illness. God does not give us more than we can handle. I strongly believe that.

    1. I understand and you’re right, we cannot always get people to like us, but my belief is that if you have to work at a friendship, it wasn’t really a friendship in the first place. No one should have to try too hard.

      We are somewhat tested when it comes to family illness though. I’m not sure that should make a difference to how you feel and think about someone. If you care and love a person you will be there to support them, no matter how you feel yourself; or with what they’re going through and as tough as it gets, we have to be in it for the long haul.

      We have to do what’s right, that is what friendships are all about. I don’t feel it’s right, bailing out even when the going gets tough. It’s just part of life’s rich tapestry.

    1. Yes you are right, although falling out with friends can happen any time, although it seems to happen around illness, but that’s probably when we’re generally more stressed.

    2. I lost a friend over his reaction to my Mother’s death. I had helped him when he had lost someone very close to him. When the tables were turned he did nothing to help me.

      We are no longer friends now.

      1. Randy I had exactly the same thing happen to me twice! Friendships should be unconditional, but it’s only when those friendships are put to the test, do we see the truth. It really is a shame.

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