Growing pains

The things I didn’t like growing up, were the fact that I had one leg shorter than the other, a club foot and very little muscle tone on my left side, which left my left side very weak, part of the Cerebral Palsy scenario that I didn’t know I had. I also didn’t like the fact that I was lopsided when I was standing straight.

Going through adolescence was no different. Because I didn’t recognise any of my milestones I missed out on noticing the changes we all go through when we reach that stage. Although that part wasn’t great, it did stop me from criticising the parts of me I didn’t like, which usually happens through adolescence, until we learn to accept who we are.

When we go through adolescence, we may sometimes struggle to come to terms with the changes we have to go through. In a way I was lucky to have missed out on the feelings associated with those changes, but in other respects I missed out on the whole experience of adolescence, connecting me to the adult world.

We either come through adolescence liking who we are, or we become picky, picking out all our flaws wishing we were different, wishing we were taller when we’re small, slim when we’re curvy, spots where others have clear skin, as we continue to hone in on all the things we hate about ourselves.

Wanting what others have and wishing things were different, instead of embracing what we have and learning to live with what we’ve been given. I think that’s part of the problem. We want what we don’t have and then set to change ourselves so that we have what other people have.

As we begin to hone in on all the negative stuff about ourselves, we believe that no one else can possibly understand our experiences and feelings, because the feelings are unique to us. We allow ourselves to be swayed by what other people feel and forget to appreciate our own importance.

We tend to disconnect, instead of dealing with how we feel. We must connect with our emotions and learn to like our physical side too. Learn to like who we have the potential to become through the other end of adolescence.

Personally, I feel we are lucky to reach our milestones, to have them and to have the opportunities that go with them.


22 Apr, 2016

4 thoughts on “Growing pains

  1. Generally speaking, it’s hard going through adolescence. Missing your milestones in a way may well have protected you from the difficulties others might have gone through.

    Looking back, I was lucky as adolescence for me was as uneventful as any other time in my formative years. I sailed through it into my mid teens and carried on seemlessly to my continuing adventure of emotional independence.

    1. Thanks, yes what you’re saying is a good way for me to think. It sounds as though you missed out on your adolescence too because you were too busy living your life to notice, which is great.

      You’ve no reason to look back on that part of your life with ill feeling and that’s good.

  2. Who I was in my adolescence is a little blurry, but I remember looking into my eyes and pretending not to be me, then feeling sad that I couldn’t find in me what I was looking for. I could’ve died from that feeling, like I suspect so many others did at that time.

    But the story of my younger years would probably take a thousand years to tell, and I probably wouldn’t stop once I started.

    1. Thanks Tim. Yes, I expect our adolescent years are blurry to most of us. It’s the time of our lives we’d rather all forget.

      The transition into adulthood is very scary, both mentally and emotionally. It’s that period where we need to fit into the adult world, but I’m not sure how many of us really manage that successfully.

      The fact that you were pretending not to be you, to me means that you were clearly looking for something else to bridge that gap at that time.

      Most of us come to find that eventually when we make the transition into adulthood, or we may continue to look and don’t find, or we find it and don’t recognise it, even if it’s staring us in the face.

      Our of all of our milestones though, going through adolescence I would say is the most poignant, because it’s the passing from childhood into adulthood. It doesn’t get any bigger than that.

      I believe it surpasses all of the other milestones, in terms of importance and either sets us up for an easy transition or a more difficult one, depending on our attitude and how we get to deal with things.

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