Guilt

Guilt is a burden many of us carry like a trunk load, either because of something we’ve done or something someone else has done to us. It’s in our subconscious, it’s something we’re drawn back to, which is often why it’s difficult to let go.

When we carry guilt, the message we must give ourselves is that we should redress the balance, but guilt never goes until we deal with it. There must be a link between guilt and apology and both are important to our spiritual and emotional growth. As children, our parents teach us to say sorry when we’re wrong, but even though children find it hard to admit to saying sorry, adults find it even harder.

It’s the same with guilt. When a person judges us as being wrong that person is defending his or her own emotions the same way we defend ourselves by not saying sorry. That person chooses to judge, so that they don’t have to think or understanding their real emotions. They’re choosing not to make a conscious connection.

As our behaviour puts others in touch with their own feelings, other people’s behaviour will put us in touch with our own feelings. Guilt is linked to ego; our ego takes a knock and we fail to admit to guilt because of a bruised ego. I believe that is what it is?

Guilt is used as a tool to control children into believing or thinking they have to conform. Cultures; people and societies all use guilt to brain wash us into believing their path is the right path, whereas in effect the path they want us to take is their own path, which is right for them, but not necessarily the right path for us.

When others impart their guilt on us, we begin to believe we’re wrong so we judge ourselves. Maybe that’s what we need to change.

Cont.d/2


25 Mar, 2011

6 thoughts on “Guilt

  1. Great post! I’m sure if we all look back at our lives objectively, we would see that guilt played a huge part in our relationships.

    I was lucky because being largely ignored until I left home at 18 I generally did what I wanted not what anyone else expected or made me feel that I should do.

    Since then I can see how others have influenced me by playing the ‘guilt card,’ but in more recent years that influence has diminished significantly and I will never let that nonsense happen again.

    1. I believe we often wake up to the realities of how others behave with us and how they make us feel as we mature through our lives.

      I feel many of us will probably choose not to deal with those feelings of guilt; because we’re afraid of the consequences that might ensue as a result of trying to bring about those changes.

  2. My mom used to guilt on me all the time and she still does to a certain extent.

    I’m tired of feeling guilty for things that are not my doing. Like my exe’s death from suicide. I used to think if I had not divorced him he would still be here.

    I realise it would have happened eventually whether I had anything to do with it or not. You’ve got good points here. I also believe people use guilt as a tactic and it’s a shame to do that.

    1. This is not unique to you Lisa. I am pleased though that you know you had nothing to do with your ex-husband committing suicide and therefore there is no need for you to feel or live with the guilt.

      I think that when someone decides to take their own life, they have already gone beyond wanting or needing help. I believe as you do that he would have gone on to do it sooner or later.

  3. I found this post to be really interesting.

    Growing up the guilt tactic was used frequently on me, by my parents. Never thought about a lot of the details surrounding guilt that you had mentioned.

    I completely agree with you in that the best path for everyone isn’t always what society thinks/wants. People should be more open to flexibility in choice.

    1. Thank you. I don’t think we ever take time to think about the guilt we carry; we just assume it happens and emotionally we move on, but I do believe it shapes us as adults and how we cope in our lives.

      Thanks for posting LeAnna.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *