We tend to hold on to the things we know we desperately want to happen, even though we know deep down those things will never happen.
As a child, I used to do the same thing. Going through therapy I would inevitably ask the same questions, but that was met with the same answers; there were now answers concrete enough, to change my thinking. The answers are now in my blog. We hold on in the hope that what we want to happen will one day happen, but the sad reality is that it may never happen.
We hold on to a dream that somehow our life will be different. We tend to hold on to the things that don’t want to be held, instead of using the time, space and energy for the things that want us. I also held on to the premise that my life would play out differently in the early years, that I would have support. That I would feel different.
I spent my life living in denial, questioning the very things that would give me the answers I was looking for, instead of coming to accept the fact that those things I wanted to happen would never happen. We’re so intent on seeing things the way we think or want them to be, without looking or coming to accept the way things are.
I believe our lives would be simpler if we began to see our circumstances in the way they are, instead of the way we want things to be and stop seeing those things through rose coloured spectacles, continually wishing our lives were different. We can live in hope that things will change for the better, but I see little point in spending an entire life waiting for that different to happen.
And that if we simply chose to base our understandings on the information being presented to us, we would learn sooner why things are the way they are and stop holding on to the things that we unconsciously know will never happen; unless those others’ want them to happen of course.