Holding on to things

19 Mar 2017

We tend to hold on to the things we desperately want to happen, even though we know deep down those things will never happen.

As a child, I used to do the same thing. Going through therapy I would inevitably ask the same questions, but that was met with the same answers; there were now answers concrete enough, to change my thinking. The answers are now in my blog. We hold on in the hope that what we want to happen will one day happen, but the sad reality is that it may never happen.

We hold on to a dream that somehow our life will be different. We tend to hold on to the things that don’t want to be held, instead of using the time, space and energy for the things that want us. I also held on to the premise that my life would play out differently that my life would be different. That I would feel different.

I spent my life living in denial, questioning the very things that would give me the answers I was looking for, instead of coming to accept the fact that those things I wanted to happen would never happen. We’re so intent on seeing things the way we think or want them to be, without looking or coming to accept the way things are.

I believe our lives would be simpler if we began to see circumstances the way things are, instead of the way we want things to be and seeing those things through rose coloured spectacles, continually wishing our lives were different. We can live in hope that things will change for the better, but I see little point in spending an entire life waiting for that different to happen.

And that if we simply chose to base our understandings on the information being presented to us, we would learn sooner why things are the way they are and stop holding on to the things that we unconsciously know will never happen; unless those others’ want them to happen.

4 Responses to “Holding on to things”

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  1. Tim 20. Mar, 2017 at 10:19 pm #

    I have hope inside of me, it may not help me get the fruit faster, but at least I have hope.

    • Ilana 21. Mar, 2017 at 7:06 am #

      Thanks Tim. Hope is gradual, it gives us a platform from which to work from. It also gives us an open door, a way forward.

      I believe everything else will work out through hope and that even if it doesn’t work out straight away and we have one or two bumps in the road, we will eventually get there because we have hope. Hope gives us strength.

      It is the hope that keeps us motivated. Without hope we have nothing and with nothing we can never have hope.

  2. Brad 20. Mar, 2017 at 10:20 pm #

    I have never held on to things as I grew up independent of my family; so as an adult I accept what is and what isn’t.

    As you say there is no point wishing things are different; our time is better spent on things that matter.

    • Ilana 21. Mar, 2017 at 7:10 am #

      You’re absolutely right. Wishing things were different just serves to make us bitter. It’s important we all completely accept and come to terms with the things we cannot change. Where we think we have our moods and behaviour tell a different story.

      Unfortunately, we can never hide from what goes on in our subconscious and that tells a different story to what we tell our family, or the world.

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