How I’m feeling

Although I managed to write another blog yesterday, I was still dealing with emotional stuff this week concerning my Cerebral Palsy. This morning I am feeling a lot better about things.

By telling myself that I need to bring peace back into my thoughts and that carrying negativity will do me more harm, I have managed to see the world differently this morning. My spiritual beliefs continue to protect me. That this was my journey. I cannot change it, therefore worrying or being upset won’t help. It will just serve to make me angry and upset.

The problems with having had no support will and can never be resolved. That is something for me to resolve by myself. People very seldom hold themselves accountable. Not many of us look back and say, I could have done things better. Sadly, it’s not how people roll.

But if we all had things so good, we wouldn’t know how to deal with all the bad stuff. Dealing with the bad stuff gives us more resolve, can make us stronger and more determined. I see it as that. I also work through what I need to. That way I don’t hold on to unresolved issues. I need to stay emotionally strong so I can deal with my issues.

I try to work on the premise that staying positive will make my life more positive regardless of what I deal with, even if it doesn’t seem that way sometimes.


27 Nov, 2010

6 thoughts on “How I’m feeling

  1. I can relate to your posting today on so many levels, as you know. Just yesterday I was faced with extreme adversity and my mind to instinctively of what I had been through in the past.

    At first I denied my ability to cope with such a crisis and then I allowed myself the confidence to seize the day and attack the problem with all of the abilities at my command.

    I must say that the experience was entirely new to me and it was terrifying at times but I did make it through and when coming out the other side felt more confident. I will be less likely to allow myself into such situations in the future and yet I now possess the knowledge that faced with a crisis I can now rely on myself.

    A support system is a good thing to have, but ultimately we are alone in this world and need to be our own support system.

    1. Of course Brian. You are completely right, ultimately we are our own support, although people with Bipolar (in your case) should be able to identify more with what you deal with, because of what they deal with.

      As for my own problems, I know of no-one else who struggles around me, with what I deal with. I am definitely on my own. I am still an advocate of support, even though we deal with different things. I am here for you.

  2. I might add that after this crisis and resolution of the said crisis, I collapsed and slept for over 12 hours due to exhaustion. I feel fine now and even better knowing that whatever may come my way, I need not panic. I will walk through to the other side of the problem as stated by Ilana.

  3. I agree with you. Staying positive is important and ‘Ive learned that fighting against whatever comes my way only makes things worse and causes me to worry, so I look at things positively more these days.

    I don’t think about my health problems and dwell on the bad stuff like I used to. You have taught me this and I thank you for it.

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