How to make a decision

Never having made any decisions as a child, I was never really sure how easy it would be when it came to me making decisions as an adult.

It is possible that if we struggle with confidence issues or have something else that we deal with, those issues will stop us from making a decision. Deciding and making decisions is never an easy task in itself. We’re not always sure if the decision we go on to make will be the right one.

Struggling to make a decision may also bring about impulsive tendencies. I say that, not necessarily because we’re always impulsive by nature, but through the sheer frustration of needing to make a decision.

Living with uncertainty and knowing we have to make a decision may cause us to become impulsive, possibly because we’re already under pressure; we’re stressed; not up to the task; but the pressure’s still on.

Some of the pointers below have helped me:

  • Firstly identify the problem so you know what you have to deal with;
  • Think about the options and possible solutions;
  • Discuss your approaches with the people who you feel can help you;
  • Go back and list the options in order of your own preference;
  • List the pros and cons of the top two or three;
  • Then choose the option you feel you will be the most comfortable with;
  • Once you’ve done that think about the action/s that need to be taken to bring about your solution;
  • Finally, take a step back and think about your decision before you go ahead with it, just to be sure you haven’t made the wrong decision.

Finally, any decision we make will always become the right one for us, even if the decision we make wasn’t our first choice. That should help with any impulsive tendencies.

I believe going with that thought, means we will never make another bad choice or decision.


6 Feb, 2015

12 thoughts on “How to make a decision

  1. Yes, one of the biggest issues in my life since I can get stuck trying to make a decision over the simplest things!

    I have this problem even when I go to the grocery store and have to pick out what I want for say, cereal. Thinking back on it, most of the problem stems from never being allowed to make my own decisions.

    I’m sure my siblings would say different, as it seemed like I always got whatever I wanted, but the reality was that there would end up being a very high price to pay in the end! My parents always fought to keep us loyal to either one or the other and used what they had to, so we would.

    The other issue has been that feeling of “I’m not worthy!” which has haunted me all of my life. It does cause you to have such a serious complex when you’re not allowed to make any decisions for yourself without being made to feel guilty because of it.

    Pretty sad when things happen like having to practically beg for a winter coat in the middle of winter. People wonder why I act like I didn’t care about my parents, but they didn’t have to live through what I did! It makes perfect sense as to why I’ve made the decisions I have over the years.

    The fact is that I’ve had to be the one to realize that it is actually OK for me to make my own decisions so that I could do what’s right for me, for once!

    1. Thanks Randy, yes it’s absolutely right for you to make your own decisions and do what’s right for you. I’m with you on this, because I also never got to make any decisions until the time I left home, then a lot of my decisions took into account what others wanted, rather than myself.

      I think I must have got into my thirties when the tide began to turn. It’s never easy turning a habit around, but I believe we all can. You’re living your life now away from your parents. Your life is for you to live now, without any redress from your parents.

      I know I felt much better, when I understood I could make a decision without feeling the need to include everyone. That was half the battle. You can do that now.

      It’s changing the lifelong habit that’s the hardest part, when we’ve never made a decision or with our families being in the background. I hope my tips today on making a decision help you. They help me.

  2. My decision making abilities vary. I am pretty good with work, but tend to prevaricate when I am dealing with personal issues. Your list of ‘pointers is excellent.

    1. Thank you. You’re probably not alone having difficulty when it comes to making personal decisions. Personal decisions are always the hardest ones to make.

      We tend to fair better when we help other people make their own decisions.

  3. My decisions usually come from deep contemplation; I follow my heart or that something deep inside of me.

    My decisions are almost always based on my logic, not someone else’s. I listen and evaluate the opinions of others, but the final decision must be mine because I can deal with the consequences of that decision better that way.

    If a decision is reasonable and visionary it is probably the right decision.

    1. Thanks Tim. Your comments are absolutely spot on and would just add. I would if I may, go one step further to say that when we make our own mind on a decision, it stands to reason we will always be more comfortable with our decisions and therefore will cope better.

      Consequences of anything are there when things haven’t been thought through properly. I believe it’s always harder for us to live with a decision someone else makes.

  4. I’ve always had a hard time with decision making. I’m always going with both sides of the coin.

    Maybe your suggestions here will help me.

    1. Thanks Lisa. My suggestions help me. I hope they help you too.

      I can resonate with you though, it’s not always easy to know, but it’s harder trying to make any decision when others are pushing from both sides.

  5. I’m taking your option list and pinning it to the wall. I’ve always have had difficulty making decisions.

    It’s easy to see a problem and the mere fear of making a wrong decision will halt everything. I need to get out of that. It doesn’t do any good and it certainly doesn’t show my children any examples at all.

    1. Awww thanks Bonnie. Yes children learn by copying their parents and whatever we struggle with, they will struggle with the same things too.

      As long as parents are open and honest and talk things through with their children, they will at least come to understand.

      At the same time we can help them, by talking them through what they need to know so they don’t come to struggle. Being an adult doesn’t always give us a pass to knowing everything and having no struggles.

      I think it’s okay for children to sometimes see that.

  6. Yes I believe that too. I think it’s okay for children to see us as being human beings and knowing we make mistakes, however be honest as possible at the same time.

    My kids and I have an open communication policy going, and I’ve noticed they come to me more about problems and solutions so we can brain storm together.

    1. Thanks Bonnie. Yes, being a positive parent role model with our children, will make us a positive parent role model for our children when they’re older. I’m so pleased. How lovely.

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