Inner conflict

We have a bad day, not because someone is irritating us, but because we feel bad. That’s because the feelings we have that arise out of conflict are often tied to unconscious thoughts, not yet realised that continue to block our awareness of the bigger picture.

If we were to unravel what goes on behind our unconscious thoughts, we would understand why we’re in conflict with ourselves and why what we feel generally has nothing to do with anyone else.

It’s not to say others won’t trigger the feelings we have, but unless we learn to deal with any outstanding issues, those issues will always lie in our unconscious, until we deal with them.

From my own experience, once we deal with our unconscious, we will stop being in conflict with ourselves. We are in conflict with ourselves, because we fail to deal with unresolved issues that lurk beneath the surface, often stemming from childhood.

So next time you lash out at someone because of something they say, stop and think about why. Is it coming from them, or is it really coming from you?


23 Dec, 2013

6 thoughts on “Inner conflict

  1. I tend to hold everything in. I don’t lash out at people. I’ve done it before and I felt so bad and hated myself for doing it. I did apologize afterward but you can’t take back the things you say.

    I’ve had people lash out at me and it returns to haunt me to this day, but I’m a chicken when it comes to confronting people. There are days when I feel like crap and it’s all in my mind. I just had a day like that and I just couldn’t bring myself to do anything all day.

    Things in our subconscious can paralyze us and make us feel worthless. I agree with you that we should confront ourselves and just get it out.

    1. Thanks Lisa. Your last sentence says it all Lisa and I agree with you, our thoughts can paralyse us. I also think that Without us realising our subconscious is the difference between wellness and illness.

      It’s good for us to get our thoughts out no matter what. It also saves us from lashing out at others because we’re unhappy with ourselves.

  2. I love your explanation in your post Ilana. That we are in inner conflict with ourselves etc. that is so true. I think for the most part that when we get angry at someone, it’s because they point out a flaw that we have and amplify it. The sound of the amplification can be deafening, makes us look inward and very uncomfortable.

    I’ve learned in my ripe old age that we have to deal with our problems head on instead of burying them. I feel like I should be sending you the money for therapy (instead of my therapist). You have done your job LOL!

    1. Thanks Maria!!! I love your explanation further too and you’re absolutely right, I think people notice more about us than we do about ourselves and on our part when we are confronted with what they think of us, yes we are very uncomfortable.

      The sad reality is that the majority of us will never admit we have any flaws, even if they are pointed out to us. We would rather continue to ignore what we know deep down to be true.

      I think we need to more open and honest with ourselves. Relationships fail because issues tend to get in the way, so dealing with inner conflict would help with that.

    1. Thank you. Yes we do tend to blame others and initially that’s okay if someone else is to blame, but to continually blame without making changes to our lives doesn’t help. All that happens is that we spiral into more negative thinking and more blame.

      On Maria’s comments. I’ll have to start charging for my advice LOL! Joking apart I appreciate Maria’s comments and am pleased my thoughts and blogs help others too.

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