I’m taking a few moments to reflect on my day and although I’m upset about the outcome, I am doing okay.
As a child, I lived in fear of the reality (as children we tend to do that) that one day my parents would no longer be around me anymore; but back then I didn’t have the knowledge and the beliefs that I do today.
My mother passed away what will be 5 years on the 25th May this year. I have always believed that she will go to spirit, but will still be around me, as I live my life and make my choices and believe that my father is now getting ready to do the same. The last five years have been the most difficult years. I have blogged on here about the problems I’ve faced.
My father’s health has finally taken its toll and will soon start his own spiritual journey. He’s very calm and peaceful right now. I cannot believe that we are at this place where decisions need to be made so that arrangements can be made for him to live out his last weeks’ peacefully. It doesn’t seem real.
I am not afraid to lose him, I know he will be around me as I go about my life; what is quite scary for me is watching him fade away. I have always struggled. I have never been good around illness. I’ve always shied away from it since I was a little girl.
I know that because I have Cerebral Palsy I have certain Sensory Integration Disorder problems. I have always had problems with interpreting things, pertaining to what I see, touch and hear.
Seeing my father ill, will reinforce all my sensory issues. I’ll just have to muddle though, the best I can.