Making progress

As I start today’s blog, my thoughts don’t seem to be heading in any direction. Maybe when I start to type something, my thoughts will.

When something troubles me, it’s usually there in my mind. I always try and see the positive even when I’m dealing with such negative issues. It helps me to look beyond what I see. I think that part comes from me having so much to work through as a child.

I was under the care of the hospital for at least 15 years of my life; then finally discharged when I was twenty-five. I also spent a lot of time in physiotherapy. I think when we have so many things that we have to deal with, we become resigned, so just get on with it.

Does it make it any easier? I think’ Yes’ and ‘No.’ Yes, because we know it’s what we have to deal with and no because there’s a side to us that doesn’t want to and because we feel we’re missing out. There was for me anyway. I always felt different for all the wrong reasons. I wanted to be able to be like my siblings, without having to fit my life around physiotherapy, hospital appointments and exercises. Those took their toll on me.

I am sure it was also hard for my siblings, because a lot of my parent’s attention was taken away from them too. I can see now that my family subconsciously homed in on all my problems, but consciously chose to ignore them; although my anger being what it was, made it difficult for them to ignore my problems completely. I should have had therapy to help me cope. If I had I wouldn’t have had to do as much work on myself, as an adult.

I believe I was the catalyst of all they felt back then. I am sure they would still have other things to deal with, but my problems wouldn’t have been the focus and the attention for everyone.

31 Jul, 2011

6 thoughts on “Making progress

  1. The fact that you’ve made it through is good. I think you’re doing great with all that you’ve been through.

  2. It’s hard to really know when any progress is being made since I’m still stuck in the old mind frame of nothing ever changing. I know there’s a lot of work that needs to be done for me in that area.

    It’s very helpful when you share all your progress with us. Keep up the good work!

    1. Thanks Randy. I hope you manage to make headway soon.

      I enjoy sharing my thoughts. I hope everyone enjoys reading my thoughts as much as I enjoy writing them down.

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