I woke up thinking how good it would be if I could accept the things I cannot change and then I became slightly agitated, because I know I don’t always manage it.
There are days where everything is going swimmingly and although I don’t emotionally think about it, I know that I must be coping because the Cerebral Palsy doesn’t seem to bother me, then something happens and I’m back at square one again. Others always make it hard for me.
Last Sunday, my family went on an 8 mile bike ride without me around the reservoir and that’s when it hit me. Biking is not something that I can do comfortably. I could probably stretch to a 10 minute bike ride, but my balance isn’t great. Neither is my walking.
I need to accept that I can’t do the 8 mile bike ride. I need to accept that I can’t walk the 2 miles, but I can walk. I have to accept that my limit is 10 minutes of exercise a day, with stretches probably thrown in for good measure.
I even have difficulties some days with brain fatigue, with things like drying up, filling the dishwasher, tidying round. These are all the little reminders that emotionally set me back. There is another side, where I know I’m lucky because my Cerebral Palsy is mild, I get to live my life.
And that tomorrow I will feel differently again. That I may be back at square one, but I am determined to make myself better, more positive as time goes on. That’s what my Diary is about.