The real choice is the choice we make, either to move on with our lives, or live with animosity over a life we didn’t choose. I decided to move on.
The heart of the issue is never what the other person has done, but our reactions to what they’ve done. We can either choose to stay a victim or constructively figure out where we want to go and how we need to change. No one has the power to make us miserable, we tend to do that to ourselves.
So how do we move on?
By our understanding. When someone chooses to inflict abuse, neglect, or abandonment on us, they betray themselves. The real betrayal is their own integrity. What they do to others is a result of their own betrayal, nothing to do with us. What we choose to carry is down to us.
When we make something about us, we will compromise our own integrity and will therefore fail to emotionally move on. We all have a choice as to whether we react or respond. A reaction is the story we tell and convince ourselves, based on our past.
A response is a choice we make that allows us to identify how we feel and instead of living with self-pity, we may choose to use our experiences as a springboard to build on honesty, trust and appreciation of who we are, by giving ourselves the freedom to choose.
When we choose not to take out an emotional reaction to an issue or circumstance from our past, we have already unconsciously decided not to accept blame. That concept is important for anyone deciding to move on with their life.
Finally, with our own betrayal and our integrity in tatters, we will have achieved very little in our lifetime. It is always our integrity that defines our good name and it is our good name that people will remember us by, long after we’re gone.