Age is not always a guarantee of maturity and in my case it’s absolutely true. I would love to be able to write a different blog about maturity, of the things that make me mature emotionally, with other people, but my reality is that although I have physically grown up, my thinking hasn’t matured with it.
I was given an intelligence test as a small child, because my specialist wasn’t sure how mentally affected I would be. Through my intuition I have found a different way to learn. I know that if I didn’t use that I would be catapulted into a more secluded place. My intuitive thoughts, help take me to a better place and that is where I continue to work from.
Where I lack maturity, I am able to work with my intuition and where other people’s thinking is more mature than mine, I would like to think my intuition helps with that. Because my rewiring is upside down and where others without brain damage have a normal thinking brain and maturity, I simply don’t.
When it came to growing up, I was always at the back of the queue, particularly when it came to forming relationships. I didn’t notice or feel the need. That’s just one part of it. Because the Cerebral Cortex that deals with emotions, maturity and feelings is extensively damaged, I lack the normal emotional maturity that you would expect to experience in growing up, going through the various stages.
It’s only when I come to analyse my backward thinking that I get to see the right picture, the normal thinking picture. I believe my writing has opened new doors to the possibilities others automatically have that they take for granted that I can begin to think differently, with more of the right thoughts. Using my intuition as a daily guide, shows me a mature way to think, where my brain lacks the capacity to think for itself.
Instead, my immature thinking has been replaced with my ability to empathise, use my intuition, show my deep appreciation for meaningful things, my keen awareness to other people’s pain and my passion for things and to work with all my senses in abundance.