My not so good day

My not so good thoughts are back today. I am usually strong, but then I have my moments of losing clarity, feelings of despondency, feeling lost and feelings of isolation.

Something was said that holds true in my thoughts and has only just registered with me. Living with Cerebral Palsy means that my brain doesn’t automatically engage when it should. Where others don’t have to think because their brain thinks for them, I am aware that my brain doesn’t automatically think.

Because my brain doesn’t think, it doesn’t engage or is it able to think on its own. I know that I will always struggle to some degree emotionally and physically. I struggle because I don’t see things.

My spacial awareness is poor. Bumping into things, falling down the stairs is what I have to deal with. I think I need to talk myself through things, where I know my brain can’t think for itself.


15 Sep, 2010

10 thoughts on “My not so good day

  1. I can understand how you feel and hope today is a better one for you. Its okay to feel like that.

    Remember you are doing great things with your web site and you are an inspiration to others. Perhaps you just need to hear (and believe) that more often.

  2. I can totally relate to that. I don’t always “think” about what is said to me. Sometimes its not until a few days later. I will even remember something from years ago and think of what response I should have made, but didn’t register at that time.

  3. We all have those days. I have to be careful myself not to think about too many things at once. If I do that is when I will fall or trip over something. I think you may be tired just try to rest and relax then tomorrow as they say the sun will come out again. Just try and think of something pleasant and it should help your mood.

    1. Bill, I used to do that many years back and would kick myself on the things I didn’t say but should have! I think this particular comment stuck because I know I struggle with it, just didn’t understand it until someone else explained it.

  4. I understand a little. I have occasionally had the same problem. Plus I get brain fog and can’t think at all. I can’t remember things that people say happened.

    It just baffles me when my husband will have told me something and I really can’t remember it especially if it only happened a day earlier. It totally annoys me. But some of it is related to how tired I am and stressed out or just worn out. Hang in there Ilana.

    You’re doing a great job and helping so many people. Lisa

  5. Don’t feel alone. I think we all have our days. I find myself daydreaming a lot lately it’s a way of taking a break from the daily stress we all live with.

    1. Yes you are right, I am sure we all do. I feel a whole lot better today. As quickly as these feelings come, they pass. Thanks for your concern Brian. You’re such a wonderful friend.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *