Overlooked versus ignorance

My childhood thoughts on how things happened are never far away. Although any disability being overlooked would have been bad enough as a child, it felt worse knowing that my disability was emotionally ignored.

There is a difference between something being overlooked and something being ignored, particularly if the something being ignored has emotional repercussions for that child.

Something overlooked is something we fail to think about, when in other circumstances that something wouldn’t have been overlooked. Something ignored is something we know about and yet we simply choose to ignore it, because it suits us.

Often something overlooked can be forgiven, but something ignored will always be that more difficult to forgive. I’m still staggered this was my life.


7 Dec, 2017

6 thoughts on “Overlooked versus ignorance

  1. Overlooking can be unconscious or accidental, but ignoring is a positive behaviour that requires a decision to be made.

    In your case, that behaviour was unforgettable and unforgivable as it was done to make life easier for others and your wellbeing was secondary to that decision.

  2. Yes, it’s hard for me to believe what happened during my childhood at times. I’m sure it wouldn’t have stung quite so much had I known something had been mistakenly overlooked versus being blatantly ignored.

    I truly can’t comprehend how, as a parent that one could allow their children to suffer and not do anything at all to protect them. This is exactly what I mean when I say that we were thrown to the wolves as kids, seeing as my parents were mostly pretty oblivious to the hell that we were enduring, by their choices to ignore any problems that we may have had.

    It’s actually a miracle that all of us survived, at least physically, considering what we went through. I would find it far easier to forgive my parents, if they would have at least made an attempt to truly give a damn about what was happening to us!

    1. Thanks Randy, but I think we shouldn’t have to. Perhaps that’s the point. Any caring parent will never be able to comprehend another parent’s decisions to ignore their child’s issues rightly so.

      As Brad points out in his response something overlooked can be forgiven, but ignored and you’re looking at abuse sadly. When you know your life could have been made easier and your parents simply choose not to help you, it does bring a totally different understanding into the equation of what being a parent means.

  3. Air gets stuck in my throat every time I read what you went through.

    But let’s both agree that you’re a survivor of a past that you’re trying to shed; I love the way you do that.

  4. Thanks Tim. Yes, in my own case, I tend to reconcile by telling myself I wouldn’t be doing what I’m doing without having gone through my experiences.

    They are a part of me. I can’t turn the clock on those years, but I can have and keep control of my thoughts so that I stay a survivor.

    Through my writing, I feel I have very much achieved that.

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