Although we sometimes disagree with the way our parents parent us, it’s not something we can later change for ourselves, but something we can change for our children.
As a parent now, it’s easy to see why my father chose not to encourage me to aspire or do anything with my life. His culture dictated it and it was easier that way. It is also easy to see why he had no real concerns about my welfare, because he knew the life I was living was the life he wanted me to live.
That changes of course for the parent whose children are encouraged to make decisions about leaving home and relocate. The feeling is different again, when children go off to university, because they’re only there for a finite time and will come back home when they’re finished, either because they can’t afford to move out, or because they’re offered a job nearer home.
For those of us whose children do decide to move out permanently or relocate to another city, it’s something their parents have to come to terms with and that’s when it becomes a whole new ball game.