A friend of mine just lost both his mother and stepfather within two weeks of each other and without any other family to speak of I was comparing the life that I’ve had and wondering whether if given a choice would it have been easier for me to have had a family and no contact or have a family who buy into control and interference?
Of course we will all think differently when it comes to our own lives, but struggling with family is always difficult. On a daily basis as we go about our lives, we’re not always in contact with our families, that much is true, but when we are, it can seem like a constant battle, as we continue to have to hold everything together.
What happens though if we have support and it’s the wrong support, then what? That becomes a different ball game too. Unfortunately, the wrong support can leave us constantly having to move our boundaries all the time. Without support it’s easier to let go of the emotions that hold us back, because there are no external stress and negative influences coming back at us.
If the interference is continuous and there is no let up, it can be traumatic, not to mention stressful. I believe that without extended support, as long as we’re self-sufficient I cannot see why we won’t make headway for ourselves.
Finally, no support, no interference and no contact; means no specific memories to cause dysfunctional attachment issues. Which scenario do you think is likely to cause the least emotional damage?