Recognising fault

Some of us will go through life never admitting or recognising we’re wrong, or admit our faults; but would still be quick off the mark when it came to recognising other people’s faults. Do we even recognise our faults?

There’s something about the human condition that makes us hesitant to admit we’re ever at fault. Even when it becomes obvious to everyone else, we’re still not prepared to admit we’ve screwed up. I know that if my physical issues had been addressed, my behaviour would have been different.

I did recognise my own behaviour traits, which presented through my frustrations of living with something I knew nothing about, but unconsciously I couldn’t stop myself. When we learn to understand and recognise our own faults, we’re more likely to want to change our presenting behaviour.

In my own case that was more difficult to do, because the underlying physical and emotional issues were never addressed. That was my parents’ problem, not mine.


9 Mar, 2015

8 thoughts on “Recognising fault

  1. My dad is one of those people who doesn’t admit his own mistakes. In his eyes, he is always right and the rest doesn’t know what they are talking about. That’s why it’s difficult to hold a good relationship with him.

    I think people are not quick in admitting their faults, because in their eyes it’s a sign of weakness. I believe it’s the contrary, it’s a sign of strength owning our own defects.

    Also, owning our defects is humbling and I think being humble is one of the best traits a person can possess.

    1. Thanks Maria. I tend to think ones culture has a lot to do with these character traits, particularly fathers who believe they are the patriarch of the family.

      Our upbringing also has a lot to do with it. If we are taught to own our faults and take responsibility as a child, we will take responsibility and admit our faults as an adult. It’s what we know.

      Your last sentence sums up your response and you’re absolutely right. Owning any defect is humbling and is exactly what we need.

  2. Yes, when we recognize our own faults it can be a very difficult thing, since a lot of them are considered weaknesses! I spent far too long blaming my life on everyone else and not dealing with what my own issues were.

    My parents blamed each other all the time for their problems so it’s not surprising that I picked up the same bad habits. It would have been fantastic if they had dealt with their own issues, or else not bothered to have children!

    The hardest part has been looking at my own defects and realizing that I am only human. I tried living like a Vulcan which didn’t work very well, because then I felt nothing at all!

    All I ever really wanted from my parents was for them to acknowledge what they had done but it never happened, nor will it. The only thing I can really do is accept the mistakes I’ve made and try to move on with my life so I can enjoy what time I have left!

    1. Thanks Randy. I think you’re right. It’s important we accept our mistakes and move on so that we make less mistakes second time round. We can’t ask or expect anyone but ourselves to own up to their mistakes.

      It would certainly make our relationships easier. I feel for you Randy. Your experiences are my experience too.

  3. I think we’re programmed not to accept that we are at fault and that causes all sorts of problems in relationships. Only some of us learn that recognising fault in ourselves can actually be a positive thing and something we can grow through.

    I knew someone we spent his whole life blaming everyone but himself, for anything he was unhappy about and sad as it is to say; people said they were relieved when he died and that is a pretty bad legacy to leave behind.

    1. I think you’re right; it becomes a human failing because we fail to accept that we are at fault and that’s clearly not right; if that is what we are, at fault.

      As far as our legacies are concerned, the whole point to anyone’s legacy is that we leave a legacy behind that will remind people of what we contributed to in this lifetime; something that we fondly remember them by.

      It makes it all the more sad when someone dies and the people they leave behind, are very much relieved they’re not in their lives anymore. I’m not sure what the point is, when that happens and why. What was it all for?

  4. Yes, it is hard and almost impossible for some people to recognize and admit they were wrong.

    My daughter won’t listen to me about things, but when others point it out to her she will admit her wrongs, but still not apologize to them. If I’m wrong I admit it.

    1. Thanks Lisa, yes we must admit our faults if we’re wrong.

      Although I agree with you that it’s hard and almost impossible for some people to recongise their faults, I believe it’s becomes even more impossible to have any form of relationship without admitting we’re wrong.

      It becomes our way or no way at all.

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