Saying sorry

Children and adults alike, find it difficult to accept they’re wrong that someone else is right. How many of us will admit we’re wrong and say sorry?

Our reality is that without saying sorry, we’re shaping our future to be right without seeing ourselves as ever being wrong, or at least being able to compromise. Never being wrong or being able to back down and re-address a situation with a loved one, means always having to be right. It’s fine when we are right, but it’s certainly not right not to admit we’re right when we clearly know we’re wrong.

Not being able to back down means we become self-righteous, unable to back down for fear of showing our vulnerable side. The reality is that we’re creating a road of destruction; destroying everything within its wake. Apologising helps us overcome guilt from something we’ve said that is damaging or hurtful and acknowledged by the other person.

The sad reality is and I believe that we can never hope to build the foundations to any relationship without being able to back down when we’re wrong. Swallowing our pride is a human failing. Rather than back down and admit that we’re wrong, we stubbornly hang on for as possible, in the hope that the person we’re arguing with will tire and back down first.

It’s important to apologise with good grace so that the person we apologise to, knows that we mean it. It’s important for us to take responsibility so that we accept blame, if we are to blame. When no apology is forthcoming, pain turns into bitterness, which leads to resentment.

As children, if we are being taught correctly, we are taught to compromise, not to argue, to build friendships and to move on from arguments so that we learn not to compromise on those friendships. As a child my arguments were never addressed by either parent, so those arguments were never resolved. Unresolved arguments turn into resentment and resentment is carried forward.

Of course, when we say sorry, we not only show maturity, but we will be seen in a better light. We will also have peace, which we don’t get, having to prove we’re right and that we can never be wrong.

18 Jan, 2011

4 thoughts on “Saying sorry

  1. Being accepting, admitting of faults and being apologetic are to some extent learned behaviors.

    Growing up I wasn’t around anybody who did those things, so it wasn’t until later that I realized that it was the appropriate action in certain contexts.

    I agree with you in that they show growth and maturity, because it is something you must come to learn and understand with time.

    1. You are completely right in what you say.

      Admitting faults and being apologetic are all learned behavior which stems from our parents instilling these values into us, as small children.

      I believe without it, it’s very hard for us to live our lives comfortably without repercussions. Thanks for posting.

  2. I always try to admit I’m sorry if I’m actually in the wrong.

    What gets me are people that don’t realise they are wrong and who don’t know they don’t know and stay mad with them cause they don’t accept responsibility.

    I agree with you by the way on all accounts.

    1. Thanks Lisa. I know from my own experiences, how difficult it is to have a relationship with someone who is unwilling to accept when they are wrong.

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