Seeking parents’ approval

Unfortunately, when we’re not told we’re loved, or we’re not told that our parents are proud of us, we will spend a lifetime trying to seek their approval; that we’re worthy of their love and support.

We shouldn’t have to seek our parents’ approval. The fact that a parent can unconsciously make us feel these things is a good enough reason for us not to feel these things, or that we have to prove ourselves at all. When we learn to love ourselves we won’t have the need to seek anyone’s approval.

It’s not that our parents don’t always love us, because I believe somewhere in their psyche they do. The problem with parents is they don’t always know how to tell us they love us, or show us that they do.


14 Oct, 2014

2 thoughts on “Seeking parents’ approval

  1. I just wanted to hear my mom tell me she was proud of me. I never heard it straight from her but after she passed my aunt told me how proud my mom was of me. At least they did tell me they loved me.

    I know it was hard for my father to express himself in a loving manner, but he did. I think it was hard for him because of the time he was raised. People didn’t express themselves openly like we do today.

    I agree with you. We should love ourselves enough so that we’re not having to seek the love of our parents.

    1. Thanks Lisa. I agree with you that back then that kind of parenting seemed to be the norm. I’m sorry for you. To hear through a third party isn’t really the same thing. Children need to hear the words, ‘I love you.’ Those words will go on to shape thousands of children in their formative years.

      I am sure though, that if more of us were told, we wouldn’t spend our formative years having to seek our parents’ approval. That part I find very sad. Just because our parents and our parents’ parents don’t do things right, doesn’t mean we have to follow.

      We should want to do better for our own children and I have.

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