Set in our ways

The younger we are the more open we are to change; the older we are the more resistant to change we become. The reality for all of us is that change will happen, whether we’re ready for it or not.

How we perceive and adapt to change will always determine our health and wellbeing. There’s no getting away from that. Research carried out by the National Institute of Health, concludes that as we age, we become less receptive to certain changes. I believe that is partly true.

Our circumstances usually dictate our openness to change, although I believe our upbringing helps us deal with change more positively. Life is full of change, but learning from childhood is the best time to learn. As children we have no choice but to adapt to the constant changes we face in life, the best time to learn.

In our twenties we invite change into our lives as part of our personal growth. We usually seek out a path for ourselves and then in our thirties our thoughts change again and we’re less open to change, as we begin to look for more stability in our lives. We’re less inclined to change; more inclined to want stability in our lives and a life we’re familiar with.

Although life dictates the different stages and how we’re more likely to react, at the end of the day we are free to make our own choices. There are those who will be more hesitant in their thirties, forties and even fifties, but I believe spiritual growth plays the biggest part. We become more open to change through spiritual and emotional growth, regardless of age. Some of my biggest changes were made in my mid thirties to late forties.

However, culture and society dictate our ability to grow, restrict growth and for us to change comfortably. I also think being on our own for most of our adult life brings these problems into the equation. We’re less likely to want or to start adapting to change later on. We know what we know. We feel comfortable with where we are.

Finally, it’s easy to stigmatise and put people into boxes on how they behave. At the end of the day it is up to the individual, as I have shown.


15 Oct, 2013

6 thoughts on “Set in our ways

  1. Change is hard for me. I think I am more resistant to the changes in today’s world. I would prefer to live back when things were simpler, like my early childhood.

    I will probably be going to have a big change in the next year due to my mother’s health being so poor. I am trying to wrap my mind around the fact that I’m going to be the older adult and I feel lonely and lost.

    I’m not prepared for this change. I’m scared of it.

    1. Thanks Lisa. I think you feel probably what many others of us feel. Change can be quite daunting as we come to terms with the other side of familiarity.

      You’re entitled to feel lonely and lost. Generally speaking given time, I believe that changes once we begin to adapt to a life without that person in our lives. It’s a confidence thing and a state of mind thing.

      As a child I felt the same way. I was totally scared of the thought that one day I would lose my parents. As we grow in confidence so do our thoughts about change and how we will deal with change.

      You’ve already said that you think things will happen with your mother within a year. Perhaps you can work on your thoughts within that time so that when the inevitable happens you’re more prepared for the outcome. That is exactly how I dealt with my father’s terminal illness. I prepared myself emotionally for the inevitable.

      Feel better soon.

  2. Change can be good for us. Change has a habit of preparing us for the inevitabilities in life and our growth. Unfortunately how we respond to change is often more of a problem than the actual change we face.

    There is a saying that we should face the fear and do it anyway and I do believe that.

  3. I approach change with one foot in and one foot out. I ease my way towards change.

    Brad is absolutely correct. Change is inevitable and I’m learning to flow with it.

    1. Thanks Tim. Easing our way towards change is great. It shows caution but also determination to move slowly towards the inevitable.

      Whilst change is completely inevitable, Brad is right it… it’s not something we can avoid so you’re right to learn to flow with it.

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