Parents tend to set our standards from a very early age. One of the most important factors of any child’s upbringing is what that child is exposed to from childhood into adult life.
Children are not only influenced by their parents but are also influenced by extended family as well including their grandparents, aunts, uncles etc. Whether the influences are coming from their parents or anyone else, it is those influences that will have an impact, so it’s important we get those early influences right.
When we influence someone we have an impact on that person’s life, whether we’re consciously aware or not. That person will take what has been absorbed and will apply those influences in their own life regardless of whether they know they’re doing it or not.
That’s fine so long as those influences are right, what we want for them; but will cause friction if those influences are having a bad effect on our children. We all have different standards and it is those different standards that become the conflict between families.
Other problems faced by families are where extended family may not share the same core values. Unfortunately, it is those values that the parent will have to compete with. Without the same values or beliefs it will be hard for any child to know which road to go down.
Values are what we attach importance to, or judge as being important or valuable. Values give our life meaning. They form the foundations so that we are able to make good, solid choices for our family and for ourselves. Other factors based on our values may include a child’s education, external influences and culture which all play its part.
Values are the building blocks and form the basis of our decisions and how we get to live our lives. Our core values, allow us to decide what’s right and what’s wrong. Children will always have external influences, but I believe those influences should not set the standard above the standards set out by their parents. That will only lead to conflict.
Unfortunately, it is these outside influences that begin to interfere with their parents’ role and the parent having to compete with their child. These are my experiences that I am sure others will resonate with.