Shifting our focus

It’s fascinating how when we spend too much time dwelling on the negatives, we miss out on other things.

It’s easy to dwell and natural to internalise, it’s something most or all of us will do at some point in our lives, but whereas some of us will dwell some of the time, others may dwell all the time, so that then becomes their primary objective and focus.

Unfortunately, not only will dwelling on the negatives affect us socially, but it is also harmful to our emotional health as well.

The following may help:

  • Look for a distraction. My mum used to tell me to think of something happy like a forthcoming event, or if the negative thoughts came before bed, she would tell me to count sheep;
  • We tend to ruminate less when we’re busy. When we occupy ourselves we almost forget to dwell;
  • Perhaps you can begin to explore the reasoning behind your thoughts and why you’re dwelling. When we come to understand the reasoning, we’re more likely to rationale and less likely to dwell.

The strategies to changing any thought process are confidence and lifestyle, confidence so that we’re in control of the way we want things to be and lifestyle so we create more opportunities. The more sedentary we are, the more likely we are to dwell, because there’s nothing to keep our minds occupied. Mix with confident, like-minded individuals who will elevate you.

I know that when I began to work on my confidence and my lifestyle, I rid myself of the negative thought patterns and began to move forward, without thinking about dwelling on the negatives.


14 Nov, 2013

6 thoughts on “Shifting our focus

  1. Yes, I’ve wasted so much of my life focusing on the negative that I squandered a good part of my life focused on things I hadn’t done! My biggest regret has been not doing the right things when I should have.

    It drove me to the point of insanity and beyond because I couldn’t change the choices I had made. As hard as it has been, I’ve had to focus on letting things go so that I won’t be carrying such a heavy load for the rest of my life.

    It’s just so very tiring and I’m tired of being tired all the time. My hope is that I can at least be somewhat comfortable in my own skin for a change!

    1. Exactly Randy! I hope you’ll soon be in a position to change all of this so that you can move on, concentrating on what positives you now have in your life.

      In my formative years I had no control over my life; decisions were constantly being made for me. They were up until I moved house. There does come a time where we must shift our focus so that we take control of our lives so that we can move on.

      I hope this happens for you soon Randy.

  2. I have quite a few things on my list of ‘should haves’ but I have also learned that this is negative and unhelpful as those times are behind me and looking back really is pointless. We can all do that but it really is fruitless.

    It is inevitable that as we grow we change and our lives must be based on the now and the future. Those rose tinted glasses we look back at on our lives through, usually present us with a distorted image.

    There is no reason why the ‘what if’ thoughts and feelings cannot be replaced by more positive thoughts about ourselves and the path we are currently on.

    1. Thank you. You’re absolutely right, it’s both negative and fruitless. It’s only purpose is to make us more miserable!

      We must always try to focus on the things we can change.

  3. You’re absolutely right and I agree with you one hundred per cent. I know I dwell on things if I don’t keep myself busy or if I just sit around.

    The one person in my life that dwells on things is my daughter. I think she sits around and thinks of things to dwell on! She just started a new job so I’m hoping that will help her tremendously. We’ll just have to see.

    My mom used to tell me not to dwell on things. Things happen and we just have to let it be. Most of it we can’t change anyway.

    1. Thanks Lisa. You’re mom was right; things do happen which we don’t always have control over and have to let those things be. There’s never a point to dwelling on them.

      When I did have things to do, I didn’t dwell at all. It’s like a weight had been lifted. That felt good.

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