Support has to work

I have learned that not all support makes good support. It’s only when we come to lose someone that we have time to reflect where we are with the support we’ve had. It goes without saying that support needs to work and be right if we are to function comfortably in our lives.

We need people around us who will listen, people who don’t constantly stand in judgment or challenge us. We need people who will allow us to talk openly about what we deal with, without ignoring our comments and coming back in on what they deal with, like they’ve not heard what we’ve said.

If the support we have isn’t working, we must all look at changing how we support. We should try to work on the support we have so that what we have works for us. We should also give support back where we can.

Support should be a two-way street. I’d rather learn to support myself than have the wrong support. But ideally, we must all work together and support each other.


20 Dec, 2013

10 thoughts on “Support has to work

  1. Absolutely!! We all need to support each other. That’s what friends and family is about.

    I depend a lot on my friends (which are very few) and my husband for support. I do have an aunt that I’m very close to that also helps me a lot. Just talking to her sometimes helps because she lives 3 hours from me. We talk on the phone often.

    Like right now, I’m going through a tough time because my mom has taken a turn for the worse. She doesn’t have much longer with us.

    We’re are going to put her in hospice care as soon as we can (probably today), but we were all at the hospital last night very late and we were there supporting each other and mom. Tears all around.

    1. I’m sorry to hear about your mother Lisa. I know how you feel about losing a loved one, but you’re right about the support. The network of support we create for ourselves has to work, including support from our spouses, siblings etc.

      It’s lovely that you have support from family who are clearly there for you. You’ll be in my thoughts Lisa. Stay strong.

  2. I agree. It’s a wonderful thing when we have all the support we need from family and friends. There is of course good and bad support and bad support is worse than no support.

    I am also sorry to hear about you mom Lisa and wish you and your family my best during such a difficult time.

    1. I agree with you. I would rather support myself than have bad or the wrong support. I think we come to rely on people’s support even though it’s not always the best because we’re afraid of being on our own. It needs to work both ways.

      I hope Lisa comes back to read the second part of your response. That’s sweet, thank you.

  3. Honestly I wouldn’t be where I am today without the support of family, friends and my spouse.

    My spouse is my biggest cheerleader. He is there in good times and bad. I in turn offer my support to them also; it’s the right thing to do because they are always there for me.

    I am sorry that you had ify support in your past Ilana, but I know your family back you up and support you. I have to say you also give us support, giving us your knowledge and imparting honest answers to our issues.

    For that I am grateful and it will never be forgotten in my book!

    1. Thanks Maria. I think family and friends can make a significant difference to our lives, but not all of us are lucky to have that support. In my lifetime I’ve seen both ends of the spectrum.

      I am so pleased that you’ve had and still continue to have support from your family and friends.

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