Through the chaos

16 Mar

We all have uncertainty and unpredictability in our lives, but if like me you’re dealing with more than one and your life seems like its chaos, you’re going to have to find a way through. Giving up isn’t an option.

The problem I have is that I’m looking at my problems in one batch. When I think about what I’ve dealt with over the last few years and what I still have to deal with, I shudder at the thought of what is yet to come.

The one surety and certainty we have is that problems don’t stay problems; we just think they do. As there is a beginning, a middle and an end so too will our problems end. Even if the problem isn’t the outcome we want, we’ll have closure one way or another. The easiest way to deal with problems is not ignoring is to acknowledge the fact they exist.

Through the chaos, we need to accept the problem we have in its entirety, so that we’re emotionally ready to deal with it. When we over dramatise or complicate matters our thoughts will usually go into overdrive. Unfortunately if and when that happens, emotionally we’ll get lost in the process and will lose control of what we’re trying to deal with. Our thoughts and feelings will begin to control us.

Easier said than done of course, but the answers are there for us to have and own, we just don’t know it yet. As we continue to work through the process, try not to be dictated by other people’s thoughts on what you’re dealing with. What works for them may not work for you.

Of course we can never control the outcome, but we can control how we get to the outcome, so that we finally make it through the chaos.

4 Responses to “Through the chaos”

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  1. Randy Michaud 16. Mar, 2014 at 12:20 pm #

    Chaos is definitely something I know a lot about!

    I grew up in a world where there was always plenty of it and when you live that way after a while it seems to be normal to you. We never had a chance to really learn how to deal with it, other than just trying to survive.

    Even now when chaos happens it makes me feel like I have no control of how to deal with it. I can’t say I really enjoy it but there are times when things seem to be too quiet and going too well!

    When you always live expecting chaos to happen without being able to do much about it, your life becomes a constant nightmare. Most of the chaos now comes from what other people are going through which carries over into our lives.

    The biggest frustration has become trying to help others deal with their problems that they don’t really want to accept and deal with them. Nothing like living with blinders most of the time.

    It may be a good tool for surviving but it doesn’t work very well for living. I’ve missed out on so many things in my life simply because I wouldn’t admit there were problems literally right in front of my nose.

    I think that’s why I’ve been getting so tired of trying to help people who don’t seem to really want to deal with the problem right in front of them. Ignorance may be bliss for some people but it definitely doesn’t work for me anymore!

    • Ilana 16. Mar, 2014 at 3:06 pm #

      Thanks Randy. Yes you’re right, ignorance isn’t bliss. Problems don’t go away. They stick around until we’ve dealt with them.

      I agree with you that when we have a lot of problems to deal with and it feels like chaos, we seem to have little control of what we’re trying to deal with. I find that part of chaos so hard to deal with.

      Feeling out of control can feel quite daunting and that can cause anxiety and uncertainty.

  2. Lisa Cyr 16. Mar, 2014 at 8:57 pm #

    I’ve experienced a lot of chaos in the past few years and I guess I brought some of it on myself, but I made it through and with a good outcome on most things.

    Things are going pretty good right now and even though I have my hat in all the rings, it doesn’t feel chaotic really just normal for me. I guess after living a chaotic life for so long, chaos feels normal.

    • Ilana 16. Mar, 2014 at 9:16 pm #

      I agree with you. Thanks Lisa.

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