What could have been

When I look at my father I see a life not lived and am saddened that he never gave me the opportunities to aspire to be anything. What makes this serve as a gentle reminder, is that in 9 months time Claudia starts her new life at university.

As I continue to watch my father’s health deteriorate, I know that I could never have changed my life and that makes me very annoyed, particularly as I continue to make a difference in my children’s lives, so that they can aspire and have their own success stories, regardless of what I have managed to achieve.

I was determined not to make my issues theirs. That wouldn’t have been right or fair. He could have done that too.


24 Jan, 2013

6 thoughts on “What could have been

  1. What matters now is that you have chosen to make a difference in your children’s lives and not repeat the same behavior as your father.

    You’ve done what is right.

    1. Thanks Lisa. I agree of course, but that doesn’t cancel out or take away the disappointments of not being given the same opportunities, from someone who cares for you.

      I have to let it go and will do I’m sure. It helps for me to write out my thoughts.

  2. I will never treat people like my father has. He is a sad lonely old man who has nobody to blame but himself for his situation. Very sad.

    1. I understand Randy. Your father in effect has taught you how not to do things. It’s a great lesson that will impact many people positively, I am sure.

  3. As Lisa says you have broken the chain and you have changed things.

    As difficult as that is, it’s also sometimes difficult to watch without wondering ‘what if.’ You have managed and that’s great.

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