It’s very common when we’re angry or resentful to lash out and say mean things to people. When we’re having a bad day we do the same thing. Being mean not only is a horrible thing to do, but it also means we continually cross the line on our behaviour. No one should have to stand their guard because we say mean things.
Perhaps we must take a step back and pause. Some of the time I’m sure we don’t even know we’re doing it. We must stick to what the presenting issue is and let everything else go. It’s always better not to say anything that we will later go on to regret.
When we challenge someone for challenge sake, we are mean. Being mean alienates friends and family. No one wants to be around mean people. When we learn to stop being mean and using it as a defence mechanism for something we’re dealing with, we get to keep family and friends.