Why we judge
25 Jan
Just wondering why we judge people when we often don’t really know them?
Unfortunately I’ve also been judged many times myself and have had to walk away from those relationships. I have also seen first hand how other people are so quick to judge others. My own belief though is that it’s important for us to unconditionally accept people for who they are.
So why do we judge?
- Perhaps we don’t agree with the other person, so we make a judgment;
- Perhaps we don’t like the other person, so we try to make things difficult for them;
- Perhaps we either feel insulted, rejected or worse accused by the other person;
- Perhaps we never see the good in people, so tend to look for the worst in those people, when it’s really us that we’re angry at;
- Perhaps we’re having a bad day and just want that other person to feel the same as we feel;
- Perhaps we’re jealous.
We tend to condemn before we know the truth or facts about the other person and are quick to judge or form an opinion when we don’t really know that person or his motives. We usually listen to what other people say and agree with them, even if we don’t know the person they’re talking about.
One thing I know is that when we judge others, we cannot be truly happy with ourselves. When we’re unhappy, we tend to want to make other people’s lives as unhappy as ours. As a child it would have been so easy for me to judge the people around me because of my own issues. I was angry but I never judged anyone.
If someone’s behaviour is at fault, perhaps it’s the behaviour we should be judging, not the person. I believe there is a real difference and we need to distinguish between the two in all our relationships.
I agree with what you have said here.
Thanks Randy.
I’ve been trying to learn how to not be so judgmental which has helped in my life tremendously.
I grew up in a world where my parents were very judgmental, but I’m hoping to be able to do things differently.
Hopefully these lessons will sink in so I won’t judge myself and others so critically!
When we see our parents judging others, it’s difficult for as children not to do the same thing.
The good thing is that you know that’s what they did Randy and are now working to change things for yourself. Good luck.
I’ve heard this a lot. People judging others and I have been guilty of it myself. I agree with your assessment.
We really should worry about ourselves and not what the other person is or isn’t.
Thanks Lisa. Sometimes it’s tricky not to judge people; but knowing that we shouldn’t like you say, is a good thing.
That way we’re less likely to indulge.
I did this myself only this week and boy was I wrong! A salutary lesson hopefully not to be repeated too soon.
Yes hopefully not.