Why we mustn’t blame

Unfortunately, many things that happen to us are a consequence of someone’s actions, which usually starts in childhood and leaves us less than able to cope emotionally with life.

So how do we stop it?

My first thought is to look at the past. Recognise our mind-set traits and work towards changing the way we think, through our unconscious thinking. Avoid situations that promote emotional reactions or patterns of how we react.

The thoughts we have about others are usually a symptom of how we feel about ourselves. I believe that blaming others, is the true reality of how we feel about ourselves, we just don’t see or get it.

Not only do we press our own self-destruct button, but we also press the self-destruct button on all our relationships. Blaming others just highlights our own inadequacies. There’s a saying: ‘once a victim always a victim,’ but I don’t think that’s altogether true.

We can choose to stay a victim, or we can empower ourselves and do something with our lives so that we change the pattern and mindset of how we’ve been taught to think for so many years. I think there comes a time for all of us when we’ve suffered enough.

We want to feel good about ourselves, we want to be able to form and keep relationships without driving those we love away. We need to stop seeing others as the problem and take stock, so that we get to see our issues and so that we can deal with those.

Lastly, I believe we must work on change and the way we feel and think about ourselves, without pressing our own self-destruct button and then choosing to look to others to blame.


19 May, 2011

4 thoughts on “Why we mustn’t blame

  1. I have done this with regard to my father in order to improve my relationship with him.

    I used to be combative but that was counter-productive. I now usually refuse to react so that his behavior is changed for the better.

    If he knows he will not get a reaction from me he ceases the bad behavior. I know he used to say stuff to me just to get a rise out of me. I had to change my reaction to him in order to improve things between us.

    1. Not getting drawn into an argument is sometimes the best thing to do, especially if you feel confrontation may worsen the situation.

      Sometimes these arguments exist, because subconsciously one party blames the other for where they are in their lives.

      Glad you manage to use this tactic.

    1. Absolutely, but that should work both ways, particularly with family. They shouldn’t blame others for things that are their fault. Not so easy!

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