Support is something we should all want but isn’t something we always accept. Having support sounds simple, but our realities make it far from simple. For many of us, support is something we’re not great at receiving and for others, not great at giving. We may also sometimes stop ourselves from asking for help, because we either feel we’re not worthy, or we’re embarrassed.
For others reaching out and asking for help may sometimes be a sign of weakness that in some small way we’ve failed. A sign of weakness for us is not being able to accept that we perhaps need help. To reach out is a sign of strength; everyone needs support at some point in their lives. It’s all to do with how we perceive things. ‘Over the years, we cultivate a pattern of beliefs that either blend themselves into positive or negative thoughts.’
Asking for help is a sign of maturity and a confidence thing. It allows us to get past negative experiences so that we are able to form bonds with the people giving us support and makes for better relationships. I have seen first-hand what happens when we stop people from helping. Invariably we will struggle.
Once we’ve accepted it’s okay to accept and have support, we will be able to ask for anyone’s help. We should also be able to share our feelings with people who will listen and care for us and although that sounds easy, it’s really not. Listening is a skill, but far too often we end up talking to people who set to judge, criticise or blame us.
That is particularly true when it comes to dysfunctional relationships. We tend to talk to the people we’ve always talked to whether they’re right for us or not, instead of reaching out to those who will listen and care for us.
In the longer term it’s better to take control and be selective. It saves us being rejected when we’re at our most vulnerable.