Being duped

No one likes being duped. It’s the feeling that comes when we realise the wool has been pulled, didn’t see we were being duped, lied or even taken advantage of.

Why would someone dupe us?

Well someone doesn’t just dupe. It’s often more complicated than that. It’s a lifestyle choice brought about by emotional internal factors that are sometimes too ingrained to easily be dealt with. So much so they don’t see it as being wrong.

There is no doubt that those who choose to live this life have emotional health issues. They will struggle to deal with the most simplest of tasks and will struggle emotionally and spiritually. Someone with these character traits may even be described as a sociopath.

So what about being duped?

Being duped is often done as part of a scam, something we come to learn about, but have no idea the process exists or would even result in that particular outcome. It doesn’t matter how we’re duped, being duped is being duped.

The scenario surrounding the wrongful deed is what matters the most; the wrongful deed is immaterial in my mind. If we work on the assumption that it’s something we could never have prevented or changed we shouldn’t feel guilty or bad about it. It doesn’t make what happened right, but it can bring understanding into the equation.

To the rest of us with an ordinary thinking brain it is obvious that such an action is wrong. Without a mental illness attached to these scenarios, it would be difficult to understand why any would act this way. We must therefore come to terms with why someone would unconsciously choose to do this.

A mental illness comes in many guises. It’s not something anyone else can prepare for, because they’re not often aware of how it works until it happens and that’s the point. It’s also not something you should take personally.


10 Sep, 2015

8 thoughts on “Being duped

  1. The strength of this blog reminds me of a few experiences I’ve had with some very bad, socially confused people. They mask themselves as traditionally normal, but they’re actually actors with many disguises, playing many roles on a social stage; they are predators.

    Many of these people know what they’re doing when they do it and their adrenaline rush comes from inducing harm and duping anyone within close proximity to their problematic existence.

    It’s a shame some people think they have to live that way to survive.

    1. Thanks Tim. I couldn’t agree more. It’s how they survive. It’s what they have come to know. It’s how they have chosen to live their lives.

  2. I knew someone who made it his cause to pull one over on anyone he dealt with in business and your blog has really made me think about his personality. It was his mission and a way of life.

    Looking back I agree he had a psychological problem as he wouldn’t otherwise have behaved this way. It was an inextricable part of his psyche and now that I understand I can find a place for his behaviour.

    1. Thank you. Yes that is exactly how it tends to play out, but we must always look at the bigger picture, because the bigger picture helps us form better understandings on what people deal with. I have to say it’s not always easy to do, but once we’ve worked it out, we can apply what we know to any scenario.

      It’s a shame this person didn’t come to understand the bigger picture for himself, because had he have done, he may have been able to do some work on himself.

  3. I like your last point as you forgive certain behaviours if the person accepts it is wrong and tries to put it right, especially before they shuffle off.

    Unfortunately in this case, the person involved would not likely change anything anytime soon.

    1. I believe we should. It’s never easy but it becomes easier with understanding. In a way it helps us bring an acceptance we didn’t have before.

  4. I have been trying to confess to this friend that he’s been duped by his ‘girlfriend.’ A girl he has never met, who lives in another country. My friend confessed to me that he is sending her money.

    Since she doesn’t want no one to know they are dating via Skype and Facebook, it seems suspicious. I have been trying to confess to him that all of this is not right. I did all I could do to make him open his eyes, the rest is up to him.

    It’s time for me to step back since it’s just causing me stress.

    1. I think it’s hard Maria when we go out of our way to do a good deed for someone and it’s ignored in this way.

      I think sometimes people want to know what they want to know and there’s nothing we can do. I think you’re right to back off now. Perhaps in due course this friend of yours will come to understand and see what you see.

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