Being nice

Sometimes we’re better off staying away from people who almost make not being nice an art form. They’re mean.

They’re also not the people you would choose to spend time with. As a nation, we’ve become more self-centred, more aloof, less patient, more selfish. We’re emotionally distracted. We don’t take the time to listen, to connect with others, let alone show we’re nice people.

Perhaps we also need to stop making others feel like they’re to blame for what we’ve had to deal with and instead take the initiative and responsibility for ourselves and how we make other people feel. Those people seem more intent on bringing others down.

To compensate, nice people end up putting up the barriers so that they’re not seen a pushover. They tend to have to protect themselves, stand their ground. To the not so nice people, choose to sort out the baggage that stops you from being nice and allow others to be who they are.

Personally, I don’t get why people can’t be nice. Why people can’t be more tolerant, caring and conciliatory? For those people, perhaps it’s time to begin to recognise your not so nice traits. If you not being nice is down to your past bad experiences, then choose to sort those out.

Sadly, nice people get to spend a lifetime with sour and angry people, which in itself is emotionally damaging, but that’s no excuse. Being nice is all that is required.


23 Jun, 2017

12 thoughts on “Being nice

  1. I’m nice, because it’s the civilized way to be, I’ve come to terms with that.

    But some folks take my niceness for weakness, that’s when I walk away or give them something to think about.

    1. Thanks Tim. Yes, sadly, some people tend to work that way, but what happened to just being nice because we’re nice?

      It a shame that you would either have to give them something to think about or walk away. If those are your options, there’s no point to the relationship.

  2. Wow!! Seems like every time I’m having a very depressed time, I find exactly what I need to read on here to get out of that mode.

    Mine is a rejection from a society that look at others that are “different” and not “worthwhile,” especially those trying to get into the workforce.

    I put up my walls kicking the outside out and not wanting to socialize with anyone at all. I know that isn’t healthy.

    1. Awww thanks Bonnie. For those of us who are different and that includes me because I deal with Cerebral Palsy, we will always be seen as being different, because others choose to see us that way.

      The reality is that we’re no different, we just deal with something. I used to think like you did to a certain degree. Things started to change for me when I took back control of my life and I didn’t give in so much to what others wanted me to do.

      If it were me, I’d stop putting up walls and stand tall. You’re as good as the next person, in some respects even better, because you know what it’s like to deal with something and have people stare.

      You have the empathy, the compassion and the tolerance. Reading your responses on the Diary Bonnie, I know you do. You’re worth ten of someone else.

  3. I agree, why would we not be nice? Unfortunately, too many don’t share that view and are determined to not be nice.

    My mother-in-law used to say “if you can’t say anything nice, then don’t say anything at all”. She wasn’t wrong.

    1. Stress turns us, sadly. Unless of course, our behaviour is because we’ve either been neglected, or we’ve been emotionally abused as a child.

      Any presenting behaviour is often down to our childhoods, brought about through stress and stressful situations.

      It’s a shame parents don’t take the time to help their children deal with their issues. There’s usually a reason why people are nice to be around.

  4. Thank you so much Ilana that means so much to me! I don’t mean to complain; I feel sometimes I do too much of that on here, on the Diary and I apologize for that.

    Soon I’ll find my own niche and feel more worthwhile, just have to stand tall with the walls!

    1. Bonnie, don’t feel bad. That’s exactly what the Diary is for. It’s a place where we’re free to vent to say what’s on our mind.

      Complain away. I will always help you put that right. We support each other on life’s journey.

  5. Yes I very much agree with you and Brad. If you can’t be nice, don’t say anything at all. I was never neglected or abused as a kid, instead a little more coddled because of my condition.

    When I got into the real world and saw how cruel and rejecting it can be, is when the depression started. It was a shock actually.

    1. Thanks Bonnie. Yes, being coddled doesn’t help us function in the real world.

      I was also more protected than my siblings. I think what helped me was my ability to rationale my thoughts, on what I had to deal with.

      You know I am here for you Bonnie. Any time you want to offload; I am more than happy to help.

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