Bringing closure

I believe with the right understanding, it is possible to turn our back and bring closure on some of those experiences that continue to haunt us.

Our loved ones may or may not answer our questions when we ask, they may answer our questions but give us the answers they think we need to hear, they may give us the answers we need but we still may have to bring about closure, because they’ve still not accepted responsibility; or they may avoid responsibility altogether. Either way bringing closure is not always easy to do.

Closure is something that comes from within us. Unfortunately, it’s not something anyone can help us with. We must also find understanding and bring closure on our experiences, without asking or insisting those who have wronged us put things right. The bad part is only we can do that but the good part is we can do it through the conscience. The conscience is the soul reflecting upon itself, as it allows us to make moral self-evaluations on our experiences.

The conscience has an innate ability to sense right and wrong, contemplate the actions of others so that we act accordingly. When we can distinguish our own moral compass and the moral compass of  other people objectively through our conscience, we will always come to equate and understand the way our lives turn out, without carrying other people’s guilt.

It becomes a vicious circle for some, because without peace we can never have closure and without closure we can never have peace; but it is my belief that we can have both. With a new understanding on how the conscience works, we will have new perceptions on the way we feel about our experiences.

When we can think about someone and a particular experience without feeling dread, we know we’ve come to terms with it and therefore we have closure.


13 Feb, 2015

6 thoughts on “Bringing closure

  1. I am thinking that unless the soul is corrupt it seeks endless peace before and after it is separated from the body; it seeks closure and love because it has an endless existence; it’s mature.

    I think closure is moving beyond the experience, beyond the fear and confusion that caused the problems in the first place. Closure is a final understanding that the experience itself was not relevant to the bigger picture.

    1. Thanks Tim. I believe the soul will try to seek out peace, but we have a hard time understanding everything we need to know about how the soul works. I also believe the soul is part of the spiritual scenario, but very few of us will travel the spiritual path.

      I agree with you that closure is moving beyond the experience that causes us fear and confusion, but that our experiences are relevant to our personal growth, but they will never form the bigger picture of what’s going on around us.

      It is only when we look back that we see that the experience itself was not always relevant to the bigger picture; it was just a small contribution. That is my belief.

  2. Closure on a lot of things in my life would be great, but for certain things it isn’t going to happen!

    Both my parents have ended up with dementia and they always blamed each other, so that’s pretty much a lost cause. All I ever wanted was at least an attempt at an apology, but it never happened and now it’s too late!

    Only now have I started working more on closure in my life and trying to accept the things I won’t have closure on and to be able to move on. People seem to think it’s such an easy task but not when you feel like you’re stitched together like Frankenstein!

    I just have to let certain things go so I won’t be haunted by them for the rest of eternity.

    1. Thanks Randy. Like you, I never got answers for my CP being ignored. I managed to do something about finding out at the age of 46 and that brought about a little closure.

      By us becoming stronger and turning our life around in other areas of our lives, our family will know what they’ve done isn’t right even if they never admit to it. Even if we don’t admit to something, doesn’t mean we don’t know; it just means we’re ignoring it.

      In my own case by changing something else, I now have more closure; not in the way I would have liked, but closure in a completely different way. It sounds as though closure will come for you in a different way too.

      I believe you can come through this Randy, stronger and better for it.

  3. I just accept things whether I get closure or not. There isn’t much I don’t have closure on except for my ex.

    He committed suicide, so I can’t have closure on that at all.

    1. Thanks Lisa. I think when you look at the bigger picture you’ll find you do have closure. I believe there’s nothing you could possibly have done to save your ex from committing suicide and knowing that should be your closure.

      If we can change something and we ignore it and something happens and we blame ourselves, then it would be very hard to achieve closure, but it sounds as though your ex gave you closure by deciding he didn’t want to live.

      His decision was totally out of your hands. In my view that should be closure enough. It’s hard living with the knowledge. I think it’s great when we can accept things, whether we have closure or not.

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