Changing negative self-talk

Living around negativity automatically creates negative self-talk. Through negative self-talk, we will talk ourselves into almost anything if we continue to do it for long enough. I know because I was that child.

To live positively we must become aware both of the words that we speak outwardly to other people and our inner self-talk. We must always think on a conscience level about how we speak to ourselves, and how we let certain situations affect us.

Unfortunately what we think, creates how we feel, how we feel determines how we act and how we act creates our experiences, so it’s important we get it right.

How to change negative self-talk:

  • The key to changing any negative self-talk is firstly to lessen stress levels. When we deal with stress, our self-talk will reflect where we are emotionally;
  • Keep yourself busy because when you’re busy, your mind will automatically stay occupied on other things. When you’re kept busy, you’re already detaching yourself from negative thoughts, without even knowing you’re consciously doing it;
  • It’s easy to spend time in the company of people who are negative. Learn to surround yourself with positive people so that their being positive, becomes yours. The more time you spend with negative people, the less opportunity you will have to change your negative self-talk;
  • Stand back and try to view your thoughts from an outside perspective so that you’re looking at your thoughts from the outside in. That way you’re more likely to look at situations objectively, with a view to changing them.

When you understand your circumstances, when you see the bigger picture on your life and where you feel changes need to be made. When you accept and take responsibility for the way you want to live your life, you will have turned your once negative self-talk into positive self-talk.


27 Aug, 2014

6 thoughts on “Changing negative self-talk

  1. Great post and good suggestions. I’m all about positivity. Being positive makes our lives happier.

    I tell people all the time to be positive, especially my daughter now that she is expecting. She is so negative sometimes and I have to remind her to quit thinking like that and think good thoughts. The baby feeds off her and will be nervous and irritable if she keeps thinking negatively.

    Others feed off of us to. If we come in with a bad attitude we can change others positive attitudes. This world is so full of negativity already. We have to make ourselves happy and being positive is one of the first steps to happiness.

    1. Thanks Lisa! I agree, being positive brings about more positivity and more positivity in our lives does make us happier. You’re right it’s easy for us to feed off other people’s negativity.

      The hard part is maintaining a balance with the things that we have to deal with whilst remaining positive and happy.

  2. Yes, I know what you’re saying as I still have those tapes running in my head.

    My parents were always just so negative, like there was no hope for things to be different that it made me wonder why I was bothering to even be alive. It’s no wonder most of the time I felt like they would be better off without me.

    People seem to question why I feel the way I do about them, but they have no clue what it was like. There are times that I would have rather been physically abused since those wounds do actually heal! Parents are supposed to nurture and care for their children, not go out of their way to crush their spirits to make them obedient.

    Even just thinking about it makes my eyes water from the avalanche of emotions that come with it. Looking back on my life isn’t something I like to do very often, as it makes me physically ill after a while.

    The hardest part for me has been to believe it’s OK to stop beating myself up for things that weren’t my fault as a kid; 90% of the noise in my head isn’t even my baggage to be carrying. One of my biggest pet peeves is when people say “They did the best they could!” when that just wasn’t true.

    Why is it there are so many people who have children when they shouldn’t?

    1. It is okay Randy for you to stop beating yourself up for the things that weren’t your fault. It took me a while too to understand that it was okay for me to stop carrying the guilt on certain aspects of my childhood.

      I agree it’s often difficult for us to hear people say, “they did the best they could.” I used to think the same as you for many years. Parents don’t go to school to be parents and perhaps there are some parents who clearly get things wrong out there that should, but I believe a lot of parents will parent how they were parented. That was very true in my case.

      I know you’ve mentioned your mum before, but if your mum was dealing with her own issues that will have had a lot to do with the way she parented you. That certainly doesn’t make what she did with you right, it just makes it what it is.

      I really hope you feel better soon about things. I’m here for you.

  3. Sometimes we have to turn a blind eye to negativity and nourish our minds with positive images and thoughts for sheer mental health reasons. I’ve made a conscious effort to watch my intake of negative self talk because our minds will prowl the depths hell if we let it.

    I think it’s wise to detach ourselves from too much negativity; because while the mind is powerful, it is also perishable.

    1. Thanks Tim. I agree with you. It’s never easy making a conscious effort when we’re constantly around negativity, so you’ve done extremely well.

      As a child, it took me a lot of years to master the art, particularly as I was constantly around negativity, but very much worth the effort once you’ve made the transition.

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