Compatibility doesn’t have to be with a partner or spouse, it could be with someone we hang out with, a girlfriend, boyfriend, anyone we share a friendship or relationship with.
Is compatibility something we stop to think about or analyse? On a conscious level, I don’t think we do, but if we do I’m not sure we think about it, in any great detail. The problem for most of us, is that personal goals are not always evident early on in our lives and it’s those goals that interfere with how we feel about ourselves and that impinges on our relationship with others.
By the time some of us reach our twenties or thirties, we do have some idea of which way we want to go. We feel more secure in ourselves and therefore are able to relate to others better. For those who still may struggle, they may want to further their careers, others may be happy to relax a little, having already achieved some of their goals before that age.
Compatibility may not be something they can aspire to just yet. Compatibility comes about when we’re happier in ourselves. Wanting to work together, to share common goals and to share our life with someone. We must be emotionally ready. Instead, we come into our relationships with baggage and baggage interferes with our relationships. Making decisions may also bring different understandings taken from our parentage, which may not always be compatible with the other person.
Then we have material possessions and money. We also have different attitudes on bring children up. Our philosophical attitudes tend to come from education, beliefs, parents and peers and how we believe the world works. What works and what is right for what we want, isn’t necessarily right for that of our spouse or partner.
Then there are other questions. What about optimism? Is your cup half empty? Are you open to change? Do you accept your partner’s point of view, or do you always have to be right? Does your partner fall into line?
It’s okay to be individual that’s how we make it in the world. It’s okay to have different values, but it’s important we accept, support and love those we’re with, not stand in judgment or pick holes because we don’t agree.
I think that once we manage to achieve common ground and the relationship is able to grow, we will have more compatibility. From my own experiences growing up, where opinions on religion, background, parentage and status come into relationships, those should firmly be left out.