Emotional detachment

How do we go on to develop emotional detachment? I ask that because I believe we must all find a way to emotionally detach ourselves.

Without incorporating emotional boundaries (and we all should) between the people we have come to rely on and us, people may take advantage. They may not start out wittingly thinking they will take advantage, but since we know relationships are not all equal, that is how it may work out. Once we decide that we want to take control, it is possible to emotionally detach.

We need to concentrate on ourselves, put ourselves in the driving seat so that we get to live the life we choose. We cannot fix, heal or change others and no one has the right to control another person’s life. I believe it’s unhealthy for people to have the power to control.

We should all recognise the need to be healthy. As parents, or authority figures, we need to be good role models so that others see us as good role models. We also need to be responsible for our own past whether someone else is to blame or not. We cannot continue to blame others because of how we turn out, but we need to minimise other’s impact on our lives. The only way to do that is to emotionally detach.

We need to accept that people from time to time may use toxic behaviour. If that is the case and emotionally detaching from them helps, then that is what needs to happen. We need to do it also without carrying guilt. Boundaries need to be put in place so that we start making our own decisions on how we want our lives to be.

I believe that once we take control of our lives we won’t feel the need to attach ourselves any more. We attach ourselves to others when we have no confidence in ourselves, or believe in our own abilities.


7 Mar, 2011

8 thoughts on “Emotional detachment

  1. I agree with Randy, there are many good points in today’s blog.

    I had to read it a few times to take it all in; but I guess what you’re saying is that we are responsible for ourselves and we not have to let others dictate our lives for us. I certainly agree with that.

  2. It’s definitely something that develops over time.

    I’ve been very good at detaching from the way I grew up, but I’m trying to stay beyond that now.

    I have to try and remember that I’m responsible for my own life and have the ability to control my own life.

    1. Randy, emotional detachment can develop over time, but we are the ones who can develop it.

      I believe that once you get to the stage where you are aware that you are able to detach so that you are in control of your thoughts and feelings, the more you will feel in control of your life.

      We detach because we feel the need to detach. You will work it through as you go along. Thank you for posting.

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