How do we go on to develop emotional detachment? I ask that because I believe we must all find a way to emotionally detach ourselves.
Without incorporating emotional boundaries (and we all should) between the people we have come to rely on and us, people may take advantage. They may not start out wittingly thinking they will take advantage, but since we know relationships are not all equal, that is how it may work out. Once we decide that we want to take control, it is possible to emotionally detach.
We need to concentrate on ourselves, put ourselves in the driving seat so that we get to live the life we choose. We cannot fix, heal or change others and no one has the right to control another person’s life. I believe it’s unhealthy for people to have the power to control.
We should all recognise the need to be healthy. As parents, or authority figures, we need to be good role models so that others see us as good role models. We also need to be responsible for our own past whether someone else is to blame or not. We cannot continue to blame others because of how we turn out, but we need to minimise other’s impact on our lives. The only way to do that is to emotionally detach.
We need to accept that people from time to time may use toxic behaviour. If that is the case and emotionally detaching from them helps, then that is what needs to happen. We need to do it also without carrying guilt. Boundaries need to be put in place so that we start making our own decisions on how we want our lives to be.
I believe that once we take control of our lives we won’t feel the need to attach ourselves any more. We attach ourselves to others when we have no confidence in ourselves, or believe in our own abilities.