Emotional withdrawal

Unfortunately, in life when we subconsciously fail to deal with our issues, those issues don’t go away, they just get bigger. By not dealing with our issues, we consciously withdraw from our responsibilities.

No longer feeling we can take responsibility for ourselves, often means were depressed; or perhaps we’re withdrawing until we get back on our feet; or as part of a coping strategy. Couples may withdraw from each other when they begin to struggle in their relationships.

As a child I would often withdraw emotionally, it’s the way I coped. As the adult of course it’s much more difficult to withdraw. I cope by focusing on the problem, whilst trying to find a solution. Always work on the philosophy that for every problem there is a solution.

Of course once we take negativity out of our lives, once we change certain aspects of our lives to help deal with our issues, we will have a lot more peace. It’s so important to make sure our lifestyle and life works for us, even if the way we work doesn’t work for anyone else. Our life isn’t about anyone else, it’s our life.

Go back to basics if you’re not already there and get to know what makes you, you. It’s important to try to ascertain which parts of you you’re struggling with and why. Usually, when you look closely, you will begin to see that your problems may not actually stem from you, but from something or someone else.

Finally, listen to your inner thoughts, because those thoughts are usually right. By using these tools, we’ll finally take small, but significant steps to stop emotional withdrawal.


8 Jan, 2013

6 thoughts on “Emotional withdrawal

  1. I don’t think I have a problem being withdrawn. I may have in the past like in high school, because I was shunned by other kids and really had no one to talk to or relate with.

    My problem with myself now is that I have chronic fatigue that gets on my last nerve. I could function so much better if I could get control of that one issue.

    1. I am sure you would know if you had emotional withdrawal now.

      I hope you manage to sort out your chronic fatigue Lisa. I agree that if you could control that one issue you would feel so much better. Good luck with it.

  2. I did this big time when a very good friend of mine died.

    I changed very much when this happened. Relatives told me this. I doubt very much if I will ever be the way I was before she died.

    It is different will never be the same, but life goes on.

    1. I agree Randy, life will be different without your friend in your life, but losing someone and learning to embrace new change isn’t all bad.

      It doesn’t take away the pain of losing someone very special, but it does help and goes some way to helping us appreciate a new kind of different. We also tend to appreciate the little things in our life and don’t take things or people for granted after we lose someone close. We tend to appreciate the little things more.

      It can be hard though, if we have nothing to fall back on. It would be so easy to spiral into a depression or for us to withdraw emotionally from the loss of that one person. It depends on how we cope and what support we have to fall back on.

      I know your friend will be around you, but not with you. This is your time to make a go of your life until such a time you meet again. I know you will be reunited at some point, that I am sure of.

  3. I’ve spent my whole life withdrawing from life, so now it’s a major task to be able to get back into life.

    I learned very well how to be invisible, which is great for surviving, but not very good for living. My life has been a very lonely one, since I haven’t really let people in, fearing that they wouldn’t like me if they really knew me!

    It has caused me so many problems to the point that I’m not sure of who I really am. The most I can say is that it’s kind of impossible to ‘live’ like a Vulcan, as hard as I’ve tried, but I can’t pretend that I don’t have any feelings.

    It turns out that I am actually ‘human’ as much as I don’t want to be sometimes!

    1. I know how you feel Randy. I also learned how to be invisible as a child, but as we both probably know being invisible as the adult doesn’t quite work in the same way!

      If being invisible is used as a coping mechanism, then I’m sure it’s fine for short periods, but unfortunately being invisible full time doesn’t help us deal with our life and other people. When we’re small we don’t have adult responsibilities, so it’s fine.

      When we’re pro-active; we call the shots and we have control. Being in control helps us deal with our emotional state, that way we’re less likely to withdraw all the time.

      Unfortunately being invisible isn’t always an option anymore in this fast paced world we live in.

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