Making our own choices

I understand that in life sometimes we have to make decisions or choices that family or society expect us to make, but do those choices fit in with the choices we should be making for ourselves?

It all comes down to what we learn as children. That if our parents don’t help their children make decisions or choices in their childhood, it will rarely happen in adulthood. If we’re given choices as a child, we inherit the tools that help us through our adolescent and adult years without having to struggle.

The benefits of giving children choices are immeasurable. Giving children choices allows them to understand how to make their choices, without being afraid to make a choice. Having to decide helps them problem solve, builds their self-esteem, makes them into individuals who will always hold themselves to account.

Making their own choices also allows them to take control of those choices and their lives and gives them a feeling of empowerment that the decisions they make are theirs and right for them. Whether decisions are made subconsciously or consciously, life revolves around those final choices. Making decisions that others would like us to make that aren’t our decisions, makes for a very unhappy life.

When we make choices, we take ownership of those choices. Unfortunately, with choices sometimes comes sacrifice, particularly when we make one choice over another, but having made that choice means that we are ultimately responsible for that decision.

That said, that choice then becomes our choice and that makes our choice right.


17 Jan, 2011

6 thoughts on “Making our own choices

  1. Most of the troubles I have now stem from the fact that I wasn’t really allowed to have a lot of choices as a child. I’ve never really known what it is like to make decisions based on what would make me happy.

    Now is the time to change all this, but it’s hard to defeat a pattern that was embedded when I was a child. I’m just praying that when the time comes, I can change what needs to be changed for my own peace of mind.

    1. Randy, I was the same as you in my childhood. All my decisions were made for me.

      The pattern will only change with you. Hope that will be soon. Thanks for posting.

  2. I guess as a child I was lucky and my parents guided me towards my better choices, but what choices I made were mine, for my own good or bad.

    Later in life I believe my choices turned into decisions and at that stage I didn’t have a full range of decisions because of my CP and its limitations on me physically. If those limitations weren’t there I would have had a thriving furniture building business by now and had more of a comfortable lifestyle.

    I don’t disagree with you at all Ilana, as what you have said is quite true, but the limitations on our lives sometimes narrows our choices and decisions quite dramatically because of our CP and whatever we have to deal with.

    1. Of course Mike, but the limitations you talk about don’t always come from our upbringing, as you have proved with your parents, as your parents were very supportive of you.

      I believe the limitations of what we deal with come from society as a whole. If we applied for a job along side someone without CP, that other person would get the job. Disability reduces or limits our choices.

      Acceptance of what we deal with is still not accepted in society, even if we are accepting of it ourselves.

  3. I don’t remember what choices I made as a child or even if I even made them. I agree with you though. I think children should learn early to make choices on their own or with a little help from an adult. It will give them self-esteem and confidence.

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