Making our own choices

I understand that in life sometimes we have to make decisions or choices that family or society expect us to make, but do those choices fit in with the choices we need to make for ourselves?

It all comes down to what we learn as children. If our parents don’t help us make decisions or choices in our childhood, it will rarely happen when we’re adults. If we’re given choices as children, we will inherit the tools to help us through our adolescent and adult years.

The benefits of giving children choices are immeasurable. Children having choices, allows them to understand how to make a choice without being afraid to make one. Making choices, helps problem solve, builds self-esteem and makes children into independent individuals who will always hold themselves accountable and to account.

Children making their own choices allows them to take control and gives them a feeling of empowerment that the decisions they make are their choices. Whether decisions are made subconsciously or consciously, life revolves around the choices we make.

When we make choices, we take ownership of those choices. Unfortunately, with choices comes sacrifice, particularly when we must make one choice over another, but when we settle on one choice over another that makes our choice right for us.


17 Jan, 2011

6 thoughts on “Making our own choices

  1. Most of the troubles I have now stem from the fact that I wasn’t really allowed to have a lot of choices as a child. I’ve never really known what it is like to make decisions based on what would make me happy.

    Now is the time to change all this, but it’s hard to defeat a pattern that was embedded when I was a child. I’m just praying that when the time comes, I can change what needs to be changed for my own peace of mind.

    1. Randy, I was the same as you in my childhood. All my decisions were made for me.

      The pattern will only change with you. Hope that will be soon. Thanks for posting.

  2. I guess as a child I was lucky and my parents guided me towards my better choices, but what choices I made were mine, for my own good or bad.

    Later in life I believe my choices turned into decisions and at that stage I didn’t have a full range of decisions because of my CP and its limitations on me physically. If those limitations weren’t there I would have had a thriving furniture building business by now and had more of a comfortable lifestyle.

    I don’t disagree with you at all Ilana, as what you have said is quite true, but the limitations on our lives sometimes narrows our choices and decisions quite dramatically because of our CP and whatever we have to deal with.

    1. Of course Mike, but the limitations you talk about don’t always come from our upbringing, as you have proved with your parents, as your parents were very supportive of you.

      I believe the limitations of what we deal with come from society as a whole. If we applied for a job along side someone without CP, that other person would get the job. Disability reduces or limits our choices.

      Acceptance of what we deal with is still not accepted in society, even if we are accepting of it ourselves.

  3. I don’t remember what choices I made as a child or even if I even made them. I agree with you though. I think children should learn early to make choices on their own or with a little help from an adult. It will give them self-esteem and confidence.

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