More on emotional detachment

Why do we think that it’s not right to emotionally detach ourselves? I believe some of the thoughts we have around emotional detachment can be somewhat irrational, brought about through numerous experiences that we hold on to.

Our mind can protect us or it can play tricks on us. As human beings, we believe we are indispensable; that our families, friends and colleagues cannot live without us. We talk ourselves into believing what we think; then we begin to believe all those things. We all have reasons why we choose not to detach.

Some of these thoughts might be:

  • We think that if we stop being involved, family and friends won’t cope without us;
  • We convince ourselves family need us, so we choose to stay involved;
  • We think loved ones are dependent on us, so we choose to carry on with our involvement so as not to disappoint;
  • We feel guilty, so stay just in case something bad happens;
  • We take the view that detachment is wrong and that we should commit one hundred percent;
  • We promise ourselves that we won’t detach from those we love because others have detached from us in the past;
  • It seems easier to stay;
  • We’re scared of going it alone;
  • It’s all we’ve known.

Sometimes we feel we’re not capable of moving on, but whatever our reasons, we don’t seem to change it. No one said it would be easy making changes to emotionally detach our lives from another person; but the uncertainty we have of making our own decisions for our future, I believe keep us attached to the path we take instead of taking a far calmer, more peaceful path.

We need to change path where we get to make our own choices, not choices for someone else, or be coerced into believing its right we stay.

To be cont.d/3


5 Mar, 2011

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